


Scoop!

by Tina0609



Category: Actor RPF, British Actor RPF, Tom Hiddleston - Fandom
Genre: Angst, Conflict of Interests, Drunkenness, F/M, Falling In Love, Fluff and Smut, Heartbreak, Humor, Journalist, Loss of Trust, Pretending, Regret, Romance, Sex, Swearing, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Sex, lying, mention of cheating, tipsy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-16
Updated: 2018-09-16
Packaged: 2018-09-17 22:00:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 38,266
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9348329
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tina0609/pseuds/Tina0609
Summary: Josefine Kramer is a young German journalist living in London. For her job promotion, she needs to write a hit story and her boss already has an idea. Write an investigative story about the private life of Tom Hiddleston. After all, one man can't be that perfect, can he?When she gains his trust, Jo needs to make decissions she wasn't prepared for when all of this started.





	1. So it begins

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer:  
> I don't know Tom Hiddleston and any other characters one may recognise. All original characters belong to me. I don't stalk Tom, so the places he visits or where he lives in this work of fiction may not be in sync with real life events.

It was October 24, 2016, when Josefine Maria Kramer’s life would change without her realising it. Well, her grandmother always used to say that life changes constantly and you would only comprehend it when it had happened. So, this really wasn’t her fault. But sitting in her boss’s office in the Daily Morning News building in London, with his steely blue eyes fixed on her, she couldn’t know what this meeting would contain and what it would mean for her a little more than two months later.

‘So, Jo, you’ve worked with us for just over one year now, is that correct?’ he asked her, resting his arms on the large wooden desk in front of him.

‘Yes’, she answered immediately, though she was pretty sure this was a rhetorical question, as she was fairly certain that she saw her personnel file in front of William Kaine.

‘And you’ve worked in the cultural news department so far’, he said then, ‘as a junior editor.’

‘Yes’, Jo answered again, slower this time. She was a trained journalist, she had studied for six years in Hamburg, then went into practical training for two years, worked for that newspaper for another year and then came to London. Still, with all of her experience in journalism, she didn’t have any idea where this interview was about to go.

‘So, would you like to work as a regular editor some time soon?’

‘Oh Gosh, I would, actually!’ It was almost embarrassing how fast Jo answered him. She really didn’t want to sound too desperate. But she was living in a flat with her co-worker Sam and his boyfriend. She stayed in a bed in the loft above the living room. And still the rent was about one thousand pounds per month. It would be great to actually have some money left by the end of the month instead of eating pasta with a tomato sauce for the last week before her pay check. ‘You’re not joking, are you?’ she asked then.

‘I’m not joking. However, I need to pay you the editor’s salary and for that I need money. As you know, we need to sell papers to make said money and for that I need your help. I can’t pay you more when I’m not certain that you will pay me back, so to speak. So, you haven’t had any scoops yet, have you?’

Where in the hell was he going with this? Of course, Jo understood that the Daily Morning News couldn’t pay her money that the newspaper didn’t have. She might not work in the financial news department, but she surely knew that much. So why offer her the position in the first place? Did he have fun seeing the disappointment in her eyes? He was definitely succeeding if that was the case. She could feel the sweat building on her neck when she finally answered. ‘Well, William, with all due respect, the cultural news department isn’t exactly known for its scoops when it comes to discussing plays, concerts and movies. It’s a little difficult to find something new about the shows, which the audience doesn’t know.’ Jo bit her lip. A snarky, sarcastic remark really wouldn’t help her case, but it was too late for that now, she guessed.

He studied her for a moment and then smirked. ‘I’m aware of that, Jo. But what would you say if I made you an offer? Give me a scoop, a good story by the end of the first week of January and I can guarantee you the position as an editor. I will know you’re worth my money. Well, I already know you can write, but I need the sales as you can imagine.’

Jo cleared her throat for a moment. That certainly was easier said than done. ‘I would love to give you a story. But it’s not like Lin-Manuel Miranda will suddenly and secretly tell me, it was all a lie and he didn’t write Hamilton or something like that. As I said, there aren’t many big stories to find unless it’s about the artists. And I’m pretty sure, we do have the society reporters and paparazzi for that.’ She really tried not to sound too disgusted. But no, she could never understand why someone studied journalism just to end up as a society reporter, chasing celebrities and fabricating lies.

‘How about you do a well-researched piece about an artist then? Not as a reporter, but as an established journalist?’

Well, it surely wasn’t _chasing_ and _fabricating lies_  if she did actual research, right? ‘You sound like you already have a story for me’, Jo said tentatively. Dear God, she would have to do a lot of self-blaming with even more wine that night. How could she even consider something like that? Right, living with a couple and sharing a 2-bedroom apartment with them. That was her motivation. And the food, she couldn’t forget the food.

‘I may have. Do you know Tom Hiddleston?’ What kind of question was that? Surely, almost everyone knew who Tom Hiddleston was after THAT summer. And as someone, who wrote about the theatre world of London, where Shakespeare was basically always running in some kind of way, it was pretty difficult to ignore him.

‘Yes, I do’, was all that Jo said instead.

‘So, he’s this nice guy. Even after the big break-up fans adore him, he’s always polite, always funny, never says a bad word about anyone. But there has to be more, right? Why has he never been in really long and steady relationships? Was this whole fling just PR? Did she want it, did he and his team want it? Basically, find the dark and twisted side of Tom Hiddleston for me and by that make the world see it as well. Let’s shatter those fangirls’ dreams, make them buy the newspaper to find out, how their idol lives in private. The side he doesn’t show.’ William actually made the right hand gestures, as if he was already envisioning the headlines.

Jo on the other hand, was pretty sure of her mouth hanging open. ‘William, you really did think about this, didn’t you?’ she asked with a small, disbelieving laugh. ‘How could I even try to find this out? He’s pretty secretive as you’ve already pointed out.’ She couldn’t believe it. What was she supposed to do? Walk up to him, wherever he may be, ask for a picture with a smile and a ‘How did this stunt with the singer happened, by the way? Don’t worry, I’m a journalist, I will only put your answer in an article.’ Yeah, that would work.

‘You do what all investigative journalists do. You get him to trust you and then write an article with that information. A long article, actually. Think of it as a report on Tom Hiddleston without him knowing it. Well, he would know then. You’re a charming woman, shouldn’t be that much of a problem.’

This time, it was a louder laugh that left Jo’s mouth. When William didn’t join her, she stared at him. ‘You really are serious about this? You want me to write a piece about him by January, get him to trust me and then sell him out? How would that ever put this newspaper in a good position? Nobody will ever trust us again. Hell, I will never trust me again.’ She actually didn’t know if she should stay and let him tell her that he was, in fact, joking, or if she should run out of his office and pack her things as soon as possible.

William grinned and shook his head a bit. Gosh, she really hated him in that moment. ‘If you tell him, you’re a journalist from the start and he still tells you everything, everybody will say it was his own fault. You wouldn’t have lied to him after all.’

‘Considering, I could even pull this off. It’s a twisted logic. I don’t even know where he is at the moment. He could still be in Australia for the next months. Do you want me to travel to Australia? I won’t do this, William. I’m not THAT kind of person.’ Jo shook her head furiously.

‘Let me put it this way: you will be an unemployed person if you don’t give me this story.’

She stared at her boss in disbelief. ‘What?’

‘Your stories aren’t the most read ones. We can go without them or have the editors in learning go to the theatre. You need to make money for the newspaper if you want to continue.’

‘Then I’ll quit. And you’ll write me a reference.’

‘And there I will write that you don’t take orders from your boss very well. So either I get this story or I won’t have to worry about paying you.’

Jo didn’t know what to say. Or what to do, for that matter. Without a job reference she wouldn’t even get an interview. Without another job, she couldn’t pay the flat and without a flat she would have to get back to Germany. And then she would have to explain why she wouldn’t take orders from her boss and why she left London after a year. Then her mother would ask her, if this actually was what she wanted to do and if it really was the right job for her. She had never spoken about this with William, but he was looking at her with a smirk on his face and it seemed as he knew exactly what she was thinking at that moment. ‘So, it looks like I’ll get close to Tom Hiddleston, huh?’ She felt like every girl’s dream could become her nightmare.

***

She still felt the same eight days later. This was so not right, which was exactly what she told herself for the last three days she sat in this café. She had studied the internet religiously this past week and it wasn’t a nice place to be. Well, the pictures of him were pretty nice, but that didn’t mean, that Jo felt any better about this right now. She miraculously found out about the café in Hampstead, Thomas William (she had learned to hate _that_ name this past week) Hiddleston frequented when he was home in London. And he would be here sometime in the next few days, since the filming for the latest Thor obviously finished. So now she was sitting at the same table she had sat for the last three days and studied the door without being too obvious about it (or so she hoped). Her long dark brown hair was partly covered by a green beany that almost matched the colour of her eyes and knowing that with 6’2” he was pretty tall, she put on high-heels despite standing at a 5’9” herself.

Jo was prepared. Jo was not quite prepared, she found out a minute later, when the bell above the door chirmed and a man came in, that she immediately recognised from the various pictures. He strode in, wearing a blue jacket, a hoodie underneath and grey trousers and shoes. His eyes were framed by glasses and _holy shit he looked beautiful_. Well, that certainly made her part easier, right? After basically stalking him on the internet and absorbing every piece of information about him like a sponge, she knew he was polite, almost to a fault. That was actually exactly what she aimed for.

So, when Jo saw him standing in line, waiting for his coffee and breakfast, she slowly took her own full cup of coffee and made her way over to the line. She was pretty impressed with her timing and how well she managed to quietly slip behind him in the exact moment, Tom turned around. She held her cup loosely and so it wasn’t really astonishing that most of her (thankfully cold) coffee landed on her shirt. She squeaked a little more than necessary and smiled to herself when she heard the deep British voice in front of her. ‘I’m so sorry, darling. I hope you’re alright?’

He really was what all the girls on the internet said. Way more beautiful in real life. For heaven’s sake, she surely wouldn’t be alright. Regardless of the fact, that she was almost lost for words and actually considered just going back to Germany, Jo smiled at him. ‘I will be, if you join me for a new one?’


	2. Coffee Shop Talks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, I don't know Tom Hiddleston. If I did, I'd surely not post a story about him. Josefine is mine, though.

Tom loved London and he loved being back home after about four months in Australia with only some breaks to do promotion for other movies and a rather…stressful summer. He chuckled to himself while walking the streets of his neighbourhood, bundled up in a warm hoodie, his favourite jacket and is beloved (some would say worn-out) shoes. ‘Stressful’ was a loose term for a summer in which Luke, his publicist, threatened to kill him numerous times. Luke supported him of course, not that his client would have listened anyway, but Tom definitely didn’t make his work any easier.

Tom sighed. Now it had been three months since they’ve split up and he had the feeling that he slowly but surely didn’t hear any whispers anymore when he attended an event or went to get a coffee, just as he was now.

He entered the café he visited frequently when actually staying in London for more than a couple of days. The bell above his head chirmed and he was instantly surrounded by comforting warmth. The queue wasn’t long, as most customers already faced the rush hour and so it didn’t take long until he got his much needed coffee and sandwich.

As Tom turned around, he collided with something solid. Or rather, he collided with some _one_ solid. He heard a little squeal and the next thing he saw was a young woman in front of him with a stained shirt and an obviously empty cup in her hand. Not that he looked at the stain, but well, yeah, it was right above her breast as he realised and then quickly looked in her eyes, which were a dark green. The woman in front of him didn’t look very angry considering that they just ran into each other and she now had hot liquid on her breast. On her shirt, Tom meant. No, instead she was actually sporting a small smile when he asked her, if she was alright.

“I will be, if you join me for a new one?” she asked him.

Tom gulped. That seemed rather forward, didn’t it? Still, he didn’t see any hesitation in her eyes, and no recognition whatsoever. There was just an easy smile on her face. The actor wasn’t so cocky that he thought everyone knew who he was. Or that everyone cared, if they recognised him. But it didn’t occur very often during the last couple of months.

But she _was_ really pretty and he did indeed have a little time before meeting Luke and he so wanted to meet someone who didn’t care about the summer he had. And if she did, he could still leave, right?

The look in the woman’s eyes became a little hesitant and Tom realised that he didn’t answer her question. “Of course, I would love to!” He cringed a little, figuring that he sounded a little too happy about drinking coffee with a stranger. “But let me buy it. It was my fault after all. Do you want to eat something as well?” he then asked, lifting his tuna sandwich a little.

The woman in front of him smirked. “No, just a coffee. Black, please. I’ve already eaten.”

“Good, good.” He nodded and turned back to queue once more and ordered another coffee for his new companion.

After smiling regretfully and a little shamefully at the barista, he looked around the place and spotted a little table away from the windows in the far corner of the café. It was one thing getting his picture taken when he was out and about and in public, just walking the street. It was a little disturbing when he was inside, just drinking and eating and trying to enjoy the little time off he had. But all in all it was just part of his life, and he wouldn’t stop doing what he loved or enjoyed just because there was a chance that someone took his picture. That actually was something he already knew before this summer, but those events simply made him realise that not everybody approached these things in the same way.

After leading the brown-haired woman to the table by putting a hand on her lower back, and offering a chair for her, he sat down and smiled. “I feel like I should apologise again for ruining your shirt. But I don’t even know your name, so I couldn’t do it properly up until now.”

She smiled back at him, her green eyes sparkling. “I’m Josefine. And don’t worry about the shirt. I wasn’t looking where I was going, either. I’ll just clean this.”

Tom noticed a slight accent and the different pronunciation of her name. It wasn’t the English Josephine, but more of a “Yo-se-fee-ne”. He instantly wanted to know more, but first shook the offered hand over the table. “Hi Josefine”, he gave his best to pronounce her name the same way she did, “I’m Tom”, he then smiled and let go of her smooth hand.

“I know.”

The actor was sure; he must have looked pretty surprised. At least, he thought so considering he heard the little chuckle that left the woman’s mouth and saw the twinkle in her eyes. So she did know who he was. Which meant, she just didn’t care, which was fine by him, or she planned on running into him. That part concerned him a little.

“Yes, I did recognise you. I just don’t particularly care about celebrities. You ran into me like it could have happened with any other ‘normal’ person as well, don’t you think?”

“Well, I guess, yes.” He shook his head a little. “Sorry, it must sound so cocky. Me just assuming everyone gets excited about meeting me.” Tom laughed a little as did Josefine in front of him. He leaned forward and took a bite of his sandwich, then chewed and cradled the cup of coffee in his hands. All the while he didn’t take his eyes off the woman in front of him, while she took sips of her beverage. “So, Josefine. You know who I am and what I do.  I guess, it’s just fair, that you tell me about you?”

It was the first time, that the brown-haired woman seemed a little unsure and she actually blushed a little. “Okay, this is going to sound a little strange.” She bit her lip and Tom wondered, what could possibly that wrong about her. “I’m a journalist.” Well, that explained that. “No, no!” she quickly continued. “I promise you, this wasn’t planned. Yes, I’m a journalist, but I’m working in the cultural news department. I’m reviewing plays and just little ones actually. So, as long as you’re not at some stage door at the moment, I don’t particularly care for you. At the moment. Your work life that is. Neither your private life. Yeah.”

Josefine rambled. She actually rambled and Tom couldn’t help but grin. “You mean this wasn’t a grand scheme to get to know me and then tell me all my secrets about working in theatre? And then you get all the insider knowledge and write the best reviews to ever be written?”

Now she squirmed and even blushed a deeper shade of red. “It really seems that way, doesn’t it? But I promise you, that’s not the case.” Josefine looked so uncomfortable and scared that he could think something like that; it awoke a strange sense of protection in Tom. “But, if you’re uncomfortable drinking coffee with a journalist, I completely understand. I just didn’t think about that when I asked you earlier. I won’t be mad, I promise”, she mumbled, her eyes looking at anything but his.

“Well, if you can drink a coffee with an actor, I guess I can drink a coffee with a journalist. I like to think that everyone should embrace their passion instead of being afraid of it. Would be kind of an asshole move when I judge you for your passion of writing and treat you any different, right? And it’s not like you’re going to call your newspaper friends to stalk me, right?”

She let out an almost visible puff of air. “No, they won’t. Promise.”

Tom smiled and took another drink from his coffee. “Okay then. Tell me about you, Josefine.”

***

This was not going well, Josefine thought. Actually, it went too well. She’s been so nervous when she felt his hand on her lower back. It was so warm and gentle and she actually had to suppress a shudder. She hasn’t been sure if her plan would work, but then he was so nice and genuinely happy to buy her a coffee that she almost melted right there. She really hoped she didn’t look like a complete fangirl. And then Tom tried to pronounce her name in her accent and didn’t butcher it to fit the English pronunciation.

He looked so stunned when she said she knew him, that she instantly felt bad about this. Even more so when she mentioned her profession. He looked so taken aback for a moment that she honestly meant everything she told him. She mentally prepared herself for the flight back to Germany, because she would have gone the moment he said he didn’t want to hang out with a journalist. She couldn’t even blame him. This was a stupid, very stupid idea.

But then he talked about embracing one’s passion. And he wanted to know more about her. So, she told him. About coming from Germany, living in a small flat in London and working here for a year.

She told him about her parent’s divorce when she was sixteen and about her friends and family that she missed, living in a different country. Josefine talked about her nephews, the little one not really recognising her when she was there to visit them and her brother and her sister-in-law.

She talked about how she always wanted to be a journalist, but not in a stalkerish kind of way – that made him laugh – and how she always wanted to be one of those journalists, that uncover a great story. Getting in danger for a story, because she was that passionate about it, and felt like it needed to be written.

So, they got along. And still, it didn’t go according to plan for Josefine. Because she didn’t tell him these things to get a reaction from him. She didn’t tell him so he could speak about drama school and working little roles at first. Or how his parents divorced when he went to Eton and how he himself didn’t see his family very often because one sister lived in India and he was out of the country filming a lot. And she didn’t tell him about her passion for writing because it prompted him to tell her that he too wanted to act, because mostly he wanted to tell the stories.

No, she didn’t tell him those things, because she had selfish reasons. She told him, because she looked into his eyes and saw how intensely he listened and because Josefine had the feeling that he really wanted to know about her. He really wanted to hear why she wrote stories and didn’t work as an accountant and why she left Germany for this and how she missed her friends and family, but made some new friends. He found it hilarious that she shared a flat with her gay co-worker and his boyfriend and that she slept on a studio couch above the living room and that sometimes the couple forgot that she was there. He laughed for a good minute about the famous naked dinner incident from four months ago, that nobody had mentioned ever again.

It frightened her a bit, because she actually relaxed and didn’t even think of the story for the duration of their talk. And she shouldn’t do that. She really shouldn’t let her guard down.

Josefine found herself stunned when she looked from her empty cup to her watch and found that they've sitten in the café for over an hour. Tom must have realised, too, because his blue eyes went wide. “Oh fuck. Oh, shit, sorry, I didn’t mean to swear. But I actually have a meeting in about thirty minutes.” He actually looked like a little boy, who just was told that he couldn’t play anymore but had to do his homework.

Josefine smiled. “You do know I’m 29 years old, right? You’re allowed to swear in my company. And I must get going as well. I didn’t plan on sitting here for over an hour.”

“Yes, sorry for that as well.” She couldn’t believe it. He really was like the internet described him. At least for now. He couldn’t always be this excited and positive and charming about everything, could he? “But, I had a great time”, Tom continued and then looked at her warily. “I hope, that feeling is mutual?” Was he really blushing? Josefine felt herself doing the same. “So, uhm… would it be too forward if I asked for your number? So we could talk some more? Just if you wanted to, of course.”

Josefine tucked some loose strands of hair behind her ear and looked down shyly for a moment before she looked up in Tom’s eyes. Why was she even shy about this? That was what she wanted. For her story, she reminded herself.  “I’d really like that and no, it wouldn’t be too forward.” The second she spoke the words, the actor slid his phone over the table towards her and smirked. Josefine had to laugh a bit. “Eager, aren’t we?” She typed in her number and name and gave the phone back.

“A little, yes.” Then he stood, put on his jacket and offered his hand to her. She took it, smiling at him. “It was very nice to meet you, Josefine. And I sincerely hope it wasn’t the last time.” With a smile and wave he left the café, but not without turning at the door once more, before finally exiting.

Josefine stayed seated, a little stunned and let out a puff of air. She gave him her number. Tom Hiddleston had her number. Should she have asked for his instead? To make sure, they stayed in contact? Her thoughts were interrupted by the beeping tone of her phone.

_I had a great time. Knock before you go back inside your flat, you never know when the next naked dinner is performed. –Tom_

She laughed out loud and then frowned. This was so not going well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the comments and kudos on the last chapter. This one was already finished yesterday, so it may be more than a day before the next chapter is up.  
> I'm always happy to hear from you! Thank you for reading!


	3. Some Explaining To Do

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gosh, this was a pain. Some talked too much, some talked too little. But here it is. Enjoy and let me know what you think!  
> Thank you for reading!

“So, you’ve got something on that Hiddleston mate?”

“Hello and good morning to you, too, William. I’ve slept well, how are you this fine morning?” Jo spoke into the smartphone she pressed to her ear while pouring herself a cup of coffee with the other hand. It was 7 in the morning and she hasn’t even had breakfast yet. Still, her boss was already on the phone.

“Yes, good morning. You went to meet him yesterday, didn’t you?” Jo could almost see the impatience on his face.

“I did”, she said, “There isn’t anything to report, though.”

“Why not?”

Jo rolled her eyes, took her bowl with yoghurt and bananas to the table, and then went to fetch her coffee, before she sat down. “Because we talked just for a little bit. What was I supposed to do? Meet him and then ten minutes later ask him, if his last relationship was fake and if he murders puppies?” William actually laughed out loud at that. “He’s supposed to tell me something deep, isn’t he?”

“Yes, that’s the plan. Well, did he at least get along with you? Are you going to meet him again?” Jo only had these types of conversations with her friends. Never with a boss, though.

“He’s got my number. We’re going to stay in contact.”

“Well, good for you. Listen”, he then said, suddenly hasty, “I won’t be in the office today. But there are still two articles from you for the deadline today, right? So I’ll talk to you tomorrow?”

Jo sighed. “Yes, there are and yes, you will. Good-bye, William.” She didn’t even wait for him to reply, before she hung up the phone. She was stressed and she didn’t even know how she could make it for the next two months until the deadline for her big scoop. She was already sleep-deprived as it was. With shows and plays to review, movies and TV shows to watch and art shows and galleries to visit. She was up before Sam and Nicholas, his boyfriend. And Sam and her even had to go to the same work place.

She jerked when it suddenly came to her mind that she never texted Tom back. The day before, it had just been too strange to suddenly be texting with Tom Hiddleston. THE Tom Hiddleston. Jo knew she had to, to do her job properly, but that didn’t change the fact that he actually was the first celebrity she met privately. Well, not entirely privately, but at least he thought so. And he wrote her first, that never happened to her with a well-known person.

All of the sudden, Jo felt butterflies in her stomach. She felt giddy like when she actually met some nice man, she really wanted to date. She sighed. That feeling was probably due to the fact that the last relationship she had was with Markus in Hamburg which was over for more than a year now. She did have one or two dates with a few men she met while out with co-workers at one pub or another, but that never became more than a kiss good-night. Yes, she knew she had to spend time with Tom to make this work and the prospect of meeting a guy for more than one date must have sent her feelings in this weird twist.

She picked up her phone from the table she put it down to eat her breakfast and drink her coffee, and opened Tom’s message from yesterday. A smile graced her face as she typed her reply.

_Hey, Tom. I did knock, the living room was empty, but the door to the bedroom was suspiciously closed. I had a great time yesterday as well, and I hope you’ll have a good day today. – Jo_

Josefine frowned. She never was good at texting which was pretty ironic considering she was a freaking journalist. But this would have to do. She didn’t want to overdo it. Of course, Jo would have to write an article with great news in it, but for now it would have to go slowly. She jumped a little when her phone buzzed. She definitely didn’t expect an answer this fast.

_Hi, Jo (I suppose I’ll call you Jo from now on). Is it pronounced like ‘Joe’? I bet it is. Though, in your actual name it’s pronounced differently. But anyway, I was already out for my run and I’ll have meetings later. What are you up to? – Tom_

She couldn’t help it, she laughed out loud. Really? That was, what Tom wondered about? Jo shook her head while heading to the bathroom to get in the shower before her two roommates woke up and occupied the room.

_Don’t worry about that, please. But yes, it is pronounced ‘Joe’. It’s 7:15 and you’re already back from your run? Now I officially feel lazy. I was kind of proud to be up at 7. I’ll be busy at work._

_It’s always good to know, what to call you when we meet again ;) And I wouldn’t be up before the sun comes up, if there was a chance to go running later in the day. No rest for the wicked, huh?_

Jo had to be careful to be quiet and not scream when Tom basically wrote he wanted to meet her again.

_No rest for the wicked indeed, Mr Hiddleston. But maybe one can find some time someday ;)_

It was the last message she sent before going to the shower and prepare for the busy day ahead of her.

***

“Tom?” He was smiling and staring at his phone under the table while having lunch with Luke. They’ve ordered their food and waited for their second round of drinks and the actor thought it would be a good opportunity to check his phone. Again. “Tom?!”

“Huh?” He looked up, and sheepishly smiled at his publicist sitting across from him.

“That’s kind of rude, you know that, right? Who are you texting anyway?”

Tom at least had the decency to blush and put his phone in his pocket. “Sorry”, he then said, very aware that he didn’t answer the question.

“No, please no! Don’t do that to me”, Luke whined and actually looked like he suffered.

“What?” Tom smirked at his publicist. “I don’t do anything. Absolutely nothing. I’m innocent.”

“I know you, Tom. You’re so far from innocent with that look on your face. Who is she?”

Tom wiped the smile off his face as fast as he could. “She? There is no ‘she’.”

“Yet?”

“Ha! Well. Funny you would say that.” Across from him, Luke groaned. “I’m merely texting. We just sort of met yesterday.”

His publicist closed his eyes for a moment before looking at the actor. “Alright. Do I have to know anything about her? As your publicist? Any skeletons in the closet?”

Now it was Tom’s turn to sigh. He knew that since this summer, when Luke could control absolutely nothing that was published in the press, he was very careful. As his friend, Luke surely would be delighted for Tom to start dating again. As his publicist, Tom was sure Luke’s motto was to better be safe than sorry. Thankfully, at that moment the waitress came with their drinks and put their waters on the table, all the while sporting a big smile. She was gone too soon, Tom realised after the slightly impatient cough from the other side of the table.

“We’ve only met yesterday. She ran into me in the coffee shop. Or rather, I ran into her. I offered to pay for her new coffee, we talked for over an hour, and then she gave me her number. That’s all.”

“So, you know nothing about her? Do I need to check her?”

“You most definitely don’t have to check her. I know things about her. Her name’s Josefine. She’s a-, well, she’s a journalist-“, he actually saw Luke cringe at that, “and she’s from Germany. We’re just texting, Luke. I won’t be getting married tomorrow.”

“So, no visiting the parents next week, either?”

Tom shot Luke a look, but knew he was right. Damn, those three months really weren’t easy on Luke’s side of the story. “No, actually. We won’t visit anyone. I do however have the feeling that we’ll meet again.”

“You have a good feeling about her then?” When Tom shrugged, but nodded, Luke sighed – again – but then nodded himself. “Okay, I’m done being your publicist for the next thirty minutes. Do you like her? What does she look like? And why the hell do you run into journalists in coffee shops?” His eyes literally sparkled and Tom smiled. Then he started talking about that woman he ran into and who sparked his interest like no woman did for the last six months. Or even before that.

***

“Well, my dear Jo, what has you smiling like this the whole day?”

Josefine looked up from her lasagne just in time to see the smirks Sam and Nicholas exchanged, before they looked at her with similar raised eyebrows. It was creepy, they could almost look like the twins from The Shining, if they wanted to. If it wasn’t for the case that they looked entirely different from each other. While Sam was 5’9’’, with a normal body to match and ginger hair and beard, his boyfriend Nicholas was at least 6’4’’ tall, well-built and had dark brown hair. Working in the financial district, he was clean-shaven and wore expensive suits. Sam on the other hand always hoped there weren’t any important people to interview, since he loved to wear his jeans shirts to work. It was her red-haired co-worker who asked the question this time, but Nick looked just as eager to know the answer.

“No one”, Jo mumbled and went back to her food, before she realised her mistake.

“No _one_?! Josefine, what are you not telling us?” Nick spoke up then.

Jo sighed and looked at her two friends. “I may be texting someone. I met him yesterday, I gave him my number, he wrote, and I answered. Nothing big.”

“It is something big! You were smiling all day! I saw you at work. You were so stressed out one moment, then you looked at your phone and you had an expression as if you’ve just seen the cutest puppies in the world! You’re smitten.” Sam acted, as this was the most exciting thing that ever happened to him.

“Well, he is funny. So there’s that. And I’m not smitten, he’s just really nice and easy to talk to. We just met yesterday, it’s not like we’re about to get married tomorrow.”

“But you’re going to meet again?” Now, he actually looked like an overexcited puppy, and Nicholas reached over the table to pat his boyfriend’s arm.

This time, Jo smiled as well. “I hope so.” Just because she really needed him for a story, of course.

“Okay, so what’s his name, what is he doing? Do we get to meet him? Yes?”

“God, Sam. Let the girl breath. Do we get to meet him, though?”

She rolled her eyes, a little sparkle in her green eyes and a smirk on her lips. “Let me meet him for a second time first? And his name is Tom. He’s –“, Jo started, but didn’t get to finish her sentence as her phone buzzed with an incoming call. From Tom. She was literally saved by the bell. William didn’t want many people in the office to know about the story she was working on, not until the weekly big editorial meeting at least, the week it was about to get published, and she hated to lie to Sam. Right now however, Jo was busy trying not to blush. Especially with the teasing “oooooh” from both sides of the table. “Oh, hush”, she said and got up from her chair while tapping the screen to answer the call. “Hi”, she then said and went to move up the stairs to the loft and her “room”.

“Hey. I hope you’re not busy?” came the smooth British voice over the line.

“I’ve just finished eating”, she answered, plopping down on the bed, and freeing her long brown hair from the messy bun she twisted it in when she changed from her work clothes into a sweatshirt and sleeping shorts.

“No naked dinner this time, I hope?” Tom chuckled.

Jo laughed out loud. “No, no naked dinner, everyone was dressed accordingly. They asked about you, though”, she said, biting her lip. She hoped she didn’t say too much already. But damn, for this to work, she really needed to meet him and answers she needed to.

“Oh?” He sounded cautious.

“Yes, well, not you specifically. But they asked why I was smiling at my phone. I didn’t tell them more than your first name. Don’t worry.”

“Okay. Well, my publicist, or better my friend, Luke, he asked about you as well. Seems like we were texting quite a bit today then?” Jo basically heard the smile in Tom’s voice.

“Seems like that.”

“So…”

“So?”

“Maybe we can sort of see each other again?”

Jo chuckled. Okay, this was kind of sweet. “Sort of?”

A sigh came from the other end of the line. “Jo”, he stated, almost whiny, “don’t make fun of me, I’m trying to ask you out. Not on a date of course, if you don’t want to. But you said, you had to work so much, and I thought that maybe a dinner would be nice to get your mind off things?” Oh, if he knew, how much work a dinner and talks with him would entail. But Jo’s heart stopped at the word “date”. She couldn’t let it come that far, could she? Forming a friendship was one thing. Actually _going out_ with him was something entirely different.

“I’d like to have dinner with you, Tom. Maybe not call it a date...yet? And maybe nothing too fancy? There’s something Indian, Thai, or burgers close to my flat. If you want to.”

“If I want to? I’d love to. So, what are you doing Friday evening?” Tom actually sounded eager and Jo started to feel excited. Like she was genuinely looking forward to this…meeting.

“Nothing. It seems like I’ll go grab a bite, though.”

“Great. Text me the address. Or your address, if you want me to pick you up.”

“Will do. Thank you for calling, and for asking, of course”, she smiled.

Tom’s “Believe me, it’s my pleasure” managed to make her blush again. “Good night, Jo. Don’t overwork yourself. And sleep tight.”

“You as well, Tom.” They hung up and Jo felt herself grinning at the phone in her hand. This was so stupid. It was just work. Though, it was much easier than she thought at the beginning.

“Hey, missy! You have some explaining to do!”

Jo rolled her eyes, but got up from the bed anyway. “Coming!” She had some explaining to do, indeed.


	4. Not a Date Night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's 4.30 a.m., and I apologise for any mistakes. I'll edit later, I'm off to bed now, but I really needed to get this out today. Have fun reading, I hope you like it!

It’s been two days since they’ve spoken about dinner which meant that now, on Friday evening at 6 p.m., Jo had to hurry to make it back home from work in time. She needed about half an hour from the Daily News building to her flat. Then she was about to meet Tom at 7:15. They decided on The Porchester, an English Pub which served Burgers as well as fish and Bangers and Mash, since Tom had been away from England for so long that he missed the typical English food and Jo thought the pub had the least obvious date vibe.

So, when she hastily grabbed her things and saw William shooting her a knowing wink and smile, Jo just rolled her eyes instead of getting into a discussion about personal space and her boss trying to get on her nerves. He had almost cornered her that morning, asking for updates after their editorial meeting. Luckily, Jo had another article to write, and three in line for additional editing. A normal day at work and not an exciting task at all, but that morning she could not have been happier. The young woman didn’t know how often she would have to tell William that he would get the news as soon as she got them. Without yelling or cursing at him, if possible.

“You’re in a hurry today, aren’t you, darling?” Jo’s co-worker, Mary, spoke from her side, just as Jo was about to get to the elevator.

“Yes, I have to go, I’m meeting –“

“Tom?” Mary finished for her.

That made Jo stop and look at the blonde 42-year-old with slightly wide eyes. “How do you know about Tom?” she asked, forgetting the elevator and her ride back to her flat for a moment. Did William say anything to her? Jo thought she wasn’t supposed to tell anyone, that was exactly the reason she didn’t tell Sam and Nick – and Mary, whom she considered her friend as well.

The slightly older woman chuckled at that. “Sam couldn’t keep his mouth shut. Said he wanted to go out himself and that you wouldn’t be home, either. When I asked where you’d be, he told me you’ve met someone and that you’d have a date tonight,” she then smirked.

Jo huffed. “It’s hardly a date. We’ve met once and go to The Porchester. Just two maybe-friends going for a burger,” she explained, rather conveniently in her opinion. “By the way, do you always talk about me when I’m not around?”

“Most of the time, yes,” Mary winked. “But I leave you to it now,” she said as she almost pushed Jo into the elevator. As if she wasn’t the one that made her late in the first place. “And tell me everything about your date on Monday. Or better yet, text me.”

“It isn’t a –“, but Jo didn’t have time to respond as the elevator doors closed on her. She sighed. This wasn’t a date at all. It absolutely wasn’t supposed to be a date and it wasn’t one.

***

She looked beautiful. She really did look beautiful and cute and lovely. So much that Tom had to pinch himself to not get caught up in her, and actually focus.

They’ve met at 7:15, though, Jo was a little out of breath when she arrived, but she was on time nevertheless. They’ve made the reservation in her name – Kramer was her last name, he learned – mostly to stay relatively anonymous. Hiddleston did have quite the ring to it. Now they were sitting at a table in the back of the restaurant, something Jo must have requested when making the reservation, and something he was glad for. Except the one odd look from the waitress, who recovered pretty quickly, they didn’t seem to be bothered by anyone. At least, Tom didn’t see any smartphone flashes so far.

He couldn’t take the eyes off the brown-haired woman in front of him, with her light make-up and sparkling green eyes. She had taken off her dark-grey coat with white highlights, and sat in front of him with a simple black dress and black tights, which she donned with a pair of grey-white-black striped shoes. She looked adorable, yet feminine and simple like – her.

At the moment they talked about their week, respectively. They had ordered their meals and drinks – a grilled plaice fillet with roasted vegetables paired with a Chardonnay for Jo, and Bangers and Mash with a beer for himself – and were now chatting along. Jo had a lot of editing to do during the week, as well as some articles to write, and was at the office from half past seven in the morning up to at least half past six, he learned. Tom had a lot of meetings, mostly about his upcoming visit to South Sudan and his appearances at the Evening Standards Theatre Awards as well as the preparation for the documentary he was working on at the moment. It was luck, they were both free this Friday evening, it seemed.

They talked lightly, though there was one question Tom had, ever since Jo had sent him the address of the pub.

“Jo, you said you live close, right?” Tom asked, just as their food arrived and they were ready to dig in.

She raised an eyebrow as she chewed slowly and then swallowed. “Yes, I do. I’ve walked for maybe three minutes.”

“So, how come I had to ride almost 40 minutes on the Tube, then?” That wasn’t the question he really meant to ask, though. “Or better, yet: what the hell were you doing in a café, at not yet 9 o’clock on a work day and 40 minutes away from your home?” That was pretty unusual, was it not?

Jo swallowed again, despite not taking another bite while he was asking his question. “Well, you see, my co-worker and friend, Mary, she lives in Belsize Park. She got into a row with her husband and he said he was going to stay at a friend’s for the night. So, the very good friend I am, I went over there the night before and comforted her and stayed the night. The next morning, he came home, and I didn’t feel like intruding, and left. So, I ended up at the café. Thank god, I didn’t have to be at work until lunch. The only day of my week, that wasn’t coated in stress, really,” she explained. Well, that sounded better than Tom’s idea of her stalking him.

“That actually explains a lot. I hope they’re fine now?”

“Oh, don’t worry. They’ve known each other for twenty years. A little dispute over something minor won’t end their marriage.”

“My parents didn’t even make it to the twenty year mark.” Tom had no idea, why he shared this with Jo. Maybe, because he already learned that her parents were divorced as well, and he didn’t have to play the ‘I had the perfect childhood’-game with her.

She let out a short snort before she said, “Well, my parents made it past the thirty year mark, and still got a divorce. Time isn’t really a factor here. If you’ve known someone for forty years or one month, it really is the feeling that counts. It can be as real after a few weeks as it is after a few years.”

“Yeah, my last relationship –,” he stopped himself there. That really wasn’t something to talk about on the first date. Even, if it wasn’t a date at all.

But that topic seemed to arouse Jo’s curiosity. “What about your last relationship? Well, to be fair, it’s not like I haven’t read about it, but as someone who’s a journalist, I can admit, that you don’t always get the whole truth unless it fits the picture.”

“Wow, do I sense some self-criticism there?” It was meant to be a joke, but Jo’s serious expression told him that it was indeed that.

“Well, you know the saying that you shouldn’t believe in statistics that you didn’t doctor yourself? In some ways, that counts for journalists, too. They’re pretty aware of what they leave out of a story and what they put in there. You already learn that in your studies. Good journalists just tend to try and gather all the information, and actually use it, too.”

“That sounds like a pretty reasonable approach to me.”

“It really is,” Jo answered with a smile, and Tom almost dropped his fork, so beautiful she looked in that moment. Her green eyes sparkled, her lips parted a little and he could have counted her freckles right then and there.

Instead, he cleared his throat. “Yes, well. There still isn’t really much to tell. It was real, it was fast, and it ended quickly.” That really was all there was.

“Okay, so let me tell you about my last relationship, and maybe it makes you open up,” she winked then. “I was with Markus for almost a year, and we didn’t meet each other’s parents really, basically because we met in Hamburg and that was not where our families lived. It still didn’t last. So, I really don’t think, that anyone should compare their relationship to anyone else’s.”

“Why didn’t it last, then?”

“Hm. That’s a pretty good question.” Jo looked around the room as if she was searching for an answer there, before looking back into Tom’s eyes. “The lack of romance, maybe? I know, you’ve got some criticism, because the last relationship went pretty fast, but when you take too much time, and you’re too careful – well, that wasn’t right for me. I guess, it just wasn’t that exciting. Not that we could have jetted off to Italy and Australia in the first month,” she then winked and grinned at Tom.

He let out a small laugh. She did have a point there. They did go all in pretty much overnight. “It was real, though,” he answered her unasked question. “Just because some pictures weren’t that sudden and unforeseen doesn’t mean everything was fake. We just thought that not hiding wouldn’t give them that many reasons to stalk.”

Jo actually snorted at that. It was a cute sound, Tom just didn’t know if he was supposed to be amused by it or offended by the meaning behind it. “That didn’t really work out, did it?” she then mumbled, more to herself than actually asking him.

Tom answered anyway. “It did in some aspects. We weren’t photographed all the time.”

“Oh, come on, Tom. It was like, they knew every single one of your locations. I’m pretty sure you and her respectively could go out before, without every step of you being recorded. But fame doesn’t work that way, huh?”

He knew, she didn’t want to sound mean, he really did. But somehow, Tom still had the strange urge to defend himself. “I never was one for hiding. I always went out and did my thing, and if there were fans or paps, I still had fun. And I just continued like that. It was just, that she –“.

“She had kind of an image to keep? Or lived her life differently?” Jo interrupted him.

“The second option.” It was the first time he talked this freely about his summer with someone apart from his younger sister, Emma, and Luke. He didn’t really care.

Jo nodded. “I understand that. It’s basically the same in every other relationship. You have to figure out how to compromise, if you’re not already frighteningly alike. You just seemed to be figuring each other out quite publicly and famously. But yes, that’s the same for every couple, I guess. So, how did it end? If you don’t mind me asking?”

Strangely, he didn’t. “Well, we figured each other out. And after the honeymoon phase, we realised that she wasn’t over her ex, and I wasn’t ready to either hide or act differently in public. And then it ended after the summer.”

“So, it was real?”

“Yes, it was. As real as a rebound can be.”

“And meeting the parents after a month of dating.”

Tom felt himself blush at the mention of his mother – his entire family, actually – being involved in his summer activities, without really getting the change to decline being out in the open. “Yeah, that went pretty fast as well. But, the visit was planned for me anyway. Maybe not with that much attention.”

Jo smiled a little, and gave him an encouraging look. “As long as anyone involved was okay with it, you’re on the safe side I guess.”

“I am. I really am,” he smiled back, eating the last of his meal and feeling a little lighter after talking about his summer so someone else.

***

“You really didn’t have to walk me to the door, Tom,” Jo said, as they stood in front of the building she lived in, after having spent the evening dining, laughing, and talking.

“It really is the right thing to do, Josefine. Couldn’t let you walk alone in the dark.” She resisted the urge to close her eyes and let his smooth voice invade her senses. Yes, he had a great voice, and god yes, he did look so good in his black trousers, white shirt, and grey coat. Fucking beautiful, but maybe that was the wine talking.

The fact was, she did have a lovely evening. If it was a date, she would certainly expect a kiss. But it wasn’t a date, and unfortunately all she gathered from the evening wasn’t really newsworthy as well. His relationship wasn’t fake, yay. Not really something, she could write in an article. ‘The scoop on Tom Hiddleston: He didn’t lie about his summer’ wasn’t really the headline she was going for. To make matters worse, he was even nicer than she expected, and more beautiful and charming as well, and she now had to tell Mary that she obviously had marital problems with her husband of twenty odd years.

“We’ve literally just walked for three minutes, and you have to go all the way back to get the Tube, Tom,” she tried to argue. But, she got to know him a lot better that evening, and knew that this really wasn’t a moot point to him.

“A lot can happen in three minutes,” Tom answered and then actually blushed. “Well, you know, you getting robbed for example. Wasn’t meant to be cheeky here.”

Jo chuckled and was just about to answer, when she saw a couple behind Tom’s back, approaching fast. “Oh, shit,” she mumbled and saw Tom’s confused look.

“What is it? Is it something I’ve –“.

But he didn’t get to finish. Instead, Jo could already feel herself blush and saw Nick’s attempts to hush his boyfriend, but behind Tom, Sam already exclaimed loudly, “Oh, what a surprise, darling Josefine. Had fun?” Tom turned; seemingly surprised at hearing Jo’s name, and Sam and Nick came to a halt in front of them. “Hi, I’m Sam, and this is my boyfriend Nick,” he started to introduce them, “You must be Tom -,” he stopped then, “- fucking Hiddleston?!”

Jo would have laughed, if she wasn’t so mortified. Tom on the other hand just chuckled. He clearly was used to the reaction. “Hi,” he said, offering his hand, “I’m Tom. And you’re the roommates, I assume?”

While Sam could only nod, Nick shook Tom’s hand, and at the same time gave Sam a little shove. “We are. And we must get upstairs now. It was nice to meet you. Come on, Sam. Jo, see you soon.” And off he went, a stunned Sam trailing behind him, holding onto his hand and giving Jo a look that promised a detailed discussion later on.

Jo blushed and hid her face as soon as the two of them were alone again. “I’m so sorry,” she whispered, “That was beyond embarrassing.”

“It really wasn’t,” Tom laughed, “I’ve dealt with much worse encounters. But I guess, you really didn’t tell them, who you’ve met?” He actually seemed to be impressed.

She just shrugged in response. “It really didn’t matter to me. I’ve said I’d meet Tom and I did.”

“You really did,” he smiled. “So –“. Well, that was a little awkward now. “I’ll see you?”

“Yes,” Jo breathed, “you will.”

Tom opened his arms a little and Jo went for the hug. It wasn’t a kiss, but it was more than just friendly. It was nice. “Get home safely, please,” Jo mumbled into his coat and smelled his aftershave.

“I will,” Tom whispered back, and all too soon the hug was over. Instead he beamed at her. “I’ll text you? Or call you?”

“That’d be great.”

“Great.” With that, Tom slowly stepped backwards, not without waving one last time, before he turned and walked back the way they’ve come just five minutes ago.

He smelled so good, Jo thought, and she was so screwed.


	5. Don't stop me now (I'm having such a good time)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you, Tom, for THAT interview. I guess, I’ll take some of those answers for his conversations with Jo, but for the sake of “he doesn’t talk about that publicly”, I ignore the article for now. It’s a great article btw, check it out! Btw, I have absolutely no idea how invitations to the Evening Standards Theatre Awards work, since, surprise, I’ve never received one. But we just go with it here, okay? :D Oh, and yes, I guess he’ll be cooking Bolognese at some point (with or without Spaghetti). Can’t ignore that, can I?

It was a text from Tom that woke Jo up on Saturday morning. When she read it, at a few minutes to nine, she let out a laugh.

_‘So…’_ That was all it said.

_‘So…?!’_ Jo typed as an answer. She had no idea where this was heading, but she couldn’t wait to find out. She had fun the previous night. Maybe, she even had a little too much fun, considering she didn’t find out anything new or newsworthy, and even forgot her mission for a short while. Of course, she could always use the talk about his summer as his first statement about the headline making relationship, but Jo had a feeling that this sort of revelation wasn’t really what William was aiming for.

But still, the evening was great, one of the best Friday evenings she had in the last couple of weeks – months – if she was honest. It did feel like a date a bit, though Jo made sure for herself that it wasn’t one. Tom paid for her dinner as well, but Jo couldn’t really help it. In the moment she reached for her purse, Tom had grabbed the tab so fast, and practically thrusted his card at the waitress, that Jo could just sit and stare. And thank him, of course. Still, she couldn’t let that be a date. Hell, she couldn’t even really be friends with him, if she wanted to write that story. She’d be out of his life as soon as she wrote that damn article. That didn’t change the fact that she had so much fun, and most of all that he was so very, very charming, though. Damn, it was their second meeting and already she knew more about him than about that guy she had two dates with a couple of months ago.

A little snort escaped her, when Jo read the next text after her phone buzzed in her hand. _‘Sorry Miss Kramer, I meant to start with saying, ‘good morning, how are you, what are you doing?’ And I have to ask you something.’_

She had no idea what to make of that. Except for the fact that he was, again, incredibly cute. Not that she would tell anyone. Jo thought about getting out of bed and showering first and then think about a clever response, but her curiosity got the best of her. So, Jo stayed in bed, and typed out a response instead. _‘It’s alright, Mister Hiddleston. Good morning to you, too, I’m fine, but then again the day’s just started, and I was sleeping. It’s Saturday, you shouldn’t be up before 9. I’m curious. Ask away.’_

So, that was what it was coming to. Him asking her questions, and her behaving like a grinning lovesick teenager. Which she wasn’t, only the grinning part was true. She also was going to make the best of her own advice and stayed in bed.

_‘Shit, I woke you, didn’t I? I went for a run, and thought I could write you afterwards. Well, now I feel bad. Was about to ask you, if you had any plans for the 13th.’_ Jo didn’t even have the chance to reply, before there was another message. _‘November, that is. And sorry for swearing.’_

_‘Swear as much as you like, and don’t feel bad! I don’t have any plans, except working of course.’_ She added the part of ‘working’, because Jo didn’t want him to assume, she knew he meant in the evening. Hell, maybe he didn’t even mean that. This really felt strangely like dating, and what you could say or not.

_‘Meant the evening of course. Are you allowed to go to the Evening Standard Theatre Awards even if you work for another newspaper, btw?’_

_‘Is there a chance, those are on the 13th?’_

_‘Maybe ;)’_ He used a freaking, and Josefine couldn’t help but giggle. Then she stopped immediately, when she realised that Tom was indeed asking her out. To an award ceremony?! She knew he wasn’t nominated – she had checked that in her research – but it still was an official event. Yet, she had to meet him anyway and she loved the theatre and Kenneth Branagh of course.

_‘So, you’re asking me to go to the Awards with you?’_

_‘Yes. If you want, as friends. Or…’_

_‘Or?’_

_‘As a date?’_

She couldn’t, could she? No, she really couldn’t. _‘I’ll come with you. I’ll let you know, if it’s a date or not ;)’_ Jo sighed. This was all going to be one big mess. She threw her phone on the bed, and got up to get a shower. Everything else she could find out later.

***

“You’re grinning again,” Luke greeted the man he sometimes thought he was a nanny to. It was a Sunday, and they had a brunch together, privately this time, not to talk about business.

Tom knew he was grinning. Of course he knew. He’d been writing Jo for the last two days almost constantly, except for breaks where either one of them would eat, or having a shower, or in his case, a run. He was looking forward to their date – although he knew Jo was hesitant to call it that – and talking to her more. Unfortunately, until then they both were going to be incredibly busy with Jo writing, and him with meetings for his UNICEF documentary.

“Hello to you, too, Luke.”

“What is it? I don’t have to work today, do I?”

Tom laughed at the desperate look on Luke’s face. “Not really, no,” he then said, taking a sip from the tea he’d already ordered.

“But?” the younger man asked, after giving his drink and food order to the waitress, who curiously stared at his client for a few seconds longer than necessary.

“If, by any chance,” Tom started, then politely smiled at the waitress before she hurried away, “I wanted to bring a plus one to the Evening Standard Awards, how would that work?”

“Whom do you want to take? The new one, the journalist?”

“The new one? Really, Luke?” Tom knew that Luke was protective of him. Not only of his public appearance, but about him personally as well. But calling Jo ‘the new one’ was a little harsh, he thought.  He sighed and gave in. “Josefine, yes. I mean Jo.”

“Well,” he started, leaning back in his chair, “you’re allowed to bring a guest of course. You didn’t want to walk the Red Carpet anyway?” Luke then asked and continued when Tom shook his head. “There will be official photographers during the show, and one camera team, but they’re mostly there for the winners, and presenters. So, if you want, she can sit with you, and as soon as you presented the award to Kenneth, you’re free to do whatever you want. There are so many celebrities, they won’t say a word. Oh, and of course, the Duke of Cambridge will be there, so she really needs to make sure to have her ID. When are you going to ask her?”

“Already have,” Tom smirked. “She said yes. Would have been really awkward, if she wasn’t allowed to come.”

His friend just shook his head, and rolled his eyes.

***

Jo couldn’t actually believe it. Yet, there she was, seated at a table with freaking Prince William of all people across from her. She was actually happy for the large table and impressive decoration in the centre of it. She would have stared the whole evening. Jo also had to admit that he wasn’t even the most impressive guest at the table – at least for her. Wait, would she get arrested for treason, if she said that out loud? She just had to make sure that she wouldn’t do that then.

No, even more impressive for her was the man who sat next to Tom, two seats to her left. Sir Kenneth Branagh. The real Sir Kenneth Branagh. He was seated two fucking chairs away from her. And Tom was constantly talking to him, they were friends. They laughed together and shared inside jokes. Of course, she knew this, but damn, this felt surreal. She gulped down another sip of champagne, which was flowing freely by now, amongst other beverages.

“Are you having fun, darling?” A voice from her left whispered in her ear.

Jo looked at Tom, and had to remind herself how to breathe. His blue eyes crinkled a bit as he smiled at her and his right hand found the way to Jo’s left knee, squeezing a bit. His breath was a mixture of chocolate, peppermint, and whiskey. She could actually smell it, because his face was so close as he leaned into her a little bit. Paired with his cologne and the unique smell of him, Tom actually managed to make Jo feel a little dizzy. Or maybe that was the champagne.

“I am,” she smiled back while leaning into him a little bit as well. “But I feel like I’m fangirling a little bit right now,” she then whispered, and glanced over his shoulder to the older man sitting next to him.

Tom let out his recognisable giggle and looked to his left, before he turned back to Jo. “You handled yourself pretty well earlier, darling.” The ‘darling’ came some time after his fourth whiskey of the evening about half an hour ago. Jo was sure he wasn’t drunk – yet – but certainly a little more than tipsy. She couldn’t really blame him, as she felt a little tipsy from the champagne as well. It was a good thing that she had the next day off. After telling him that she was about to go out with Tom that evening – to a celebrity event, nevertheless – William seemed rather excited for her to ‘go out and enjoy’ herself. Jo felt like she was 15 again asking her father and mother for permission to go on a date. Which this wasn’t, of course. It just felt like it a little bit.

Anyway, she couldn’t blame Tom for overindulging a bit, since the formal part was over, and he met a lot of old friends, he could catch up with. At least, he wasn’t dancing, yet, though he’d glanced at the band one or two times.

About one part he was wrong, though. “I definitely didn’t handle myself well, Tom. I freaked out.” Jo actually cringed a bit thinking about her first meeting with Kenneth Branagh – Sir freaking Kenneth Branagh – and she already was sure, she would never tell Sam and Nick about that. She would never live that down. He had smiled warmly at her, and Jo in return let out a strange mix between a snort, a giggle, and a cough. It was embarrassing really. Still, he was ever the gentleman, shook her hand, and smiled politely at her.

“Aw, come on now,” Tom answered, a little too loudly for her taste. Jo almost freaked out when he then turned to his old friend, tapped on his shoulders, and then exclaimed, “Jo here didn’t show she freaked out earlier, did she? I think she was cute. Do you think she was cute, Ken?” Ken. He called him Ken. Jo would have freaked out again, but was busy staring at Tom with her mouth open while simultaneously trying to stop the blush spreading all over her face.

Kenneth actually snickered, before he smiled at the young woman. “I think she was rather charming, Tom.” Then he turned to Jo and added, “Do you enjoy yourself?”

Jo stared for a moment. He was really talking to her. For real, right at that moment. “I’m having the time of my life.”

“No I never felt this way before,” Tom murmured next to her and snorted at his own joke.

Jo just rolled her eyes, and then got up. “Excuse me, but I’ll just go to the bathroom. Be right back.” She was startled when both men got up as well, and thought they were about to accompany her before she realised they were just really polite. Huh, she would need to have a talk with her male co-workers and friends about manners in the next days.

Tom watched Jo walk away, and couldn’t help but stare. She always looked beautiful when they’ve met before, but tonight she was stunning. She was wearing a black dress with no sleeves that hugged her upper body before it got a bit wider at her hips. It was longer in the back than in the front, and she matched it with black stilettos, a silver belt, and a silver necklace. It wasn’t a very special dress, but she made it look it. Her hair was in a loose bun, with soft strands framing her face.

He looked around when he heard a soft cough next to him, and realised he was actually still standing at the table like an idiot. Tom blushed, sat down, and murmured, “What?” in Ken’s direction.

His friend mustered him. “So, you’re dating?”

“Jo was a little reluctant to call it a date, but I guess we kind of are on a date right now.”

“Hm.”

“What do you mean, ‘hm’?” Tom asked, while waving down the waiter for a new whiskey for him and Ken. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“She’s a journalist, you said?” Kenneth asked, and raised an eyebrow. “And you ran into her in a café? The one you frequently go to?”

Tom sighed. “Really now? Just tell me, what you want to tell me.”

“Just that she’s a journalist, who could have done her research. After all, you were in a few newspapers. And I’m not sure, you should trust a journalist that easily. How long do you know each other?”

“Two weeks.” He didn’t like where this was going. He was happy – or happier – for the first time in three months, and he didn’t want to question that.

“That’s not a very long time.”

“It’s enough time. She actually told me she’d understand if I wanted to go the first time we met. She knew it could’ve been a bit strange. And she was honest about that. It was my decision to stay and talk to her. Is that all, because she’s walking back over here,” Tom added when he saw Jo approaching again.

“Just looking out for you, mate. That’s all.” And with that the conversation was over, just in time for Josefine to reach the table again, the same time as the waiter. Good, he really needed that drink now, so he took a healthy sip.

“Everything alright?” Jo asked, leaning into him a little bit.

He smiled at her, and hoped it looked genuine. “Everything’s great. You want to dance?” he asked, already standing up.

“There’s no one else dancing, Tom,” she giggled, but held on to his outstretched hand.

“Someone has to start, right?” Tom laughed as Jo rolled her eyes and got up as well. Right at that moment Queen’s ‘Don’t stop me now’ began to play, and he heard Josefine groan beside him.

“We’re really going to dance to that song, while everybody’s watching? I’ve seen you dance on YouTube, and I don’t think either one of us is sober enough to pull that off right now.”

“I’m plenty sober,” he argued, then stumbled a bit. “I am.” He pulled her close so that he could whisper in her ear. With her high-heels and her height, he didn’t have to lean down too much. “And in at least one video I can assure you there was alcohol involved. I’ve seen them.” With that he started to spin her around.

***

Jo giggled as she got out of the cab. It was ridiculous really. Tom, again ever the gentleman, insisted on taking her home. It was a really nice thing to do, but as the last whiskey must have caught up, it was probably him, who needed a ride home. He wasn’t overly drunk, but definitely well on the way, she could see it in the way he stumbled a bit now that he was walking behind her to her door.

“You’re not laughing at me, are you?” he pouted adorably at her while leaning with his back against the house wall next to the door.

“I would never dare to. I just think it’s kind of ridiculous that you’re drunker than me,” she stopped, when Tom began to protest, and shook her head at him, before she continued, “you’re drunker than me, and insisted to take me home. Thirty minutes in the wrong direction, before taking another thirty minutes to get to Camden Town.”

“I’m not THAT drunk. And besides, my mum would murder me, if she found out I let a pretty girl go home alone at 2 a.m.”

“So, this is all about making your mum happy, huh?” Jo asked, giving up on opening the door for a moment, and leaning beside him instead.

“No, definitely not,” he whispered and leaned closer. He cleared his throat. “Jo? I’ll fly to LA in two days. Well, one day now. Is it still ‘tomorrow’ for you when you haven’t gone to bed yet? Or is it today as soon as the clock strikes midnight? Because for some people –“.

He didn’t get to finish his rambling as Jo interrupted him. “Do you mean the 15th, Tom?” She felt a little sad. Well, not sad because he’d be leaving, but disappointed, because she couldn’t find out anything new then.

Tom stared at her with slightly unfocused eyes. “Yes, the 15th. Anyway, I’ll be leaving and since you’ve got tomorrow off, spend the day with me? You said, you haven’t done touristy things yet, right? Do it tomorrow, with me?”

Jo snorted, but the confused look on Tom’s face told her, that he didn’t really get the double entendre in his last sentence. “I would love to.” Was he still leaning in closer? Was she tipsier than she thought? But no, Jo could definitely breathe him in now.

“Great,” Tom smiled, just as the driver of the waiting cab, Jo already forgot about, honked. He startled a bit, but caught himself. “I really had a great evening, but I should be going. I’ll be here at 11 tomorrow, alright?” Jo could only nod, as Tom was now so close, she had to move her head up a little. “Good,” he smiled again before brushing his lips softly against her cheek. Jo melted right then and there. “I’m looking forward to it.” He pushed himself from the wall and made his way to the waiting cab, while Jo tried to catch her breath, before turning around to finally open her door.


	6. Don't talk, just kiss

The next morning, Jo had to suppress a snicker as she waited at the front door of her block of flats. At precisely 11 am, a cab stopped on the street, and Tom got out before sending the car away. That alone wasn’t funny, but the look he sported definitely was. She had a feeling when he left the night before that the morning would be hard for him. She was right, it seemed. And hilarious, although she felt a little bad for that.

Tom moved slowly – really slowly – towards her. He wore dark jeans, a dark blue jacket, and underneath Jo could see the hood of what she thought to be a sweatshirt. He had more stubble on his jaw than the night before, his hair was sort of messy, and Jo couldn’t actually see his eyes, since they were shielded by sunglasses. Sunglasses in London in November, to be precise.

Jo chuckled as Tom groaned a little, before hugging her tight, and giving her a kiss on the cheek. So, it wasn’t just the alcohol the night before? And he didn’t forget, either? Jo hugged him back.

“How are you this fine morning, Mr Hiddleston?” she then asked cheekily.

His answer was another groan, before he leaned on the wall next to her, much like he did the other night. “Ugh. A little worse for wear I’m afraid.” He looked at her, and his mouth turned into a little frown. “Why are you looking so chipper?”

Oh fuck, his voice. What the hell was wrong with that? It sounded scratchy, like a mixture of just waking up and having a coughing fit the night before. And at the same time, it sounded sexy as hell, and Jo was glad that she was partially leaning against a wall.

“I had a good night’s sleep, some greasy food, and two cups of coffee this morning as well as a bottle of water and an ibuprofen before bed,” she answered. Jo had to use all of her strength to not reach out and run her hand through his soft curls. Grinning, she continued, “Always helps.”

Tom huffed a little. “Yeah, I should have thought of that.” He frowned again. “And don’t mention food, please.” He really did look a little queasy.

“So, you haven’t eaten yet? It’s 11 am, you really should!” Jo exclaimed, and then looked a little guilty when he grunted. “Sorry.”

“I got up at a quarter past 10, had to get dressed, called a cab, and then drove here. I didn’t have time to eat. I’m not sure I should.”

“You know, you could have cancelled. Not that I wanted you to, but if you don’t feel like it, I shouldn’t drag you out today.” She blabbered, Jo knew that. She wanted to spend the day with him, especially when he would leave the next day to go to the US.

“I’ll leave tomorrow and I want to spend the day with you. I meant it when I asked yesterday; I just shouldn’t have drunk the last whiskey.”

“Just the last one?” Jo laughed. “More like the last three. I’m actually surprised you remembered to meet me this morning.”

“I might have set my alarm as soon as I got back in the cab. But I would have remembered anyway. I know everything I said and did last night.” The way Tom looked at her Jo had the feeling that he meant more than just the meeting that morning. Suddenly she felt warm all over, and considered loosening her scarf or jacket. That would be a little strange, though. It was cold outside after all.

“That’s...good.”

“Good.”

“Yeah.” She was quiet for a moment. “So, eating really greasy food actually helps me getting over a hangover. You really never do that? What do you do normally, when you don’t have to meet someone the next morning?”

“I sleep. Stay in bed and sleep. That’s what I do when I’m hung-over,” Tom deadpanned. He was grumpy, but it was strangely cute. “Or I just snap at people, whenever I have to get up anyway. So, sorry,” he said a little softer, and smiled.

“Hm,” Jo smirked. Then she took Tom’s hand, and started walking to the street, where she turned right. “I think we should try my remedy.”

Tom shuffled along behind her. “I really don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“I think it’s a beautiful idea. We’re going to Mimos Cafe. Believe me, it’s great and it’ll help.” She turned, but didn’t let go of his hand, so that she walked backwards, pulling him along. “And it’s a 15 minutes’ walk in the open air. That helps as well.”

Jo couldn’t see it because of the sunglasses, but the way Tom tilted his head somehow told her, he rolled his eyes. “I’m not convinced, but I guess I trust you,” he smiled.

“As you should.” She walked a little slower to let Tom catch up before she turned around again to fall in step next to him. As she wanted to let go of his hand however, he squeezed it and held on tighter. Jo grinned. “You should be glad I haven’t talked about German hangover remedies yet.”

“Ugh, do I want to know?”

“That depends. What do you think about pickled herring?” She snickered when Tom groaned loudly.

***

“So, did it help?” Jo asked, standing next to Tom in front of the café where they’d just spent two hours – eating. He studied her, and smiled. She looked positively giddy, bouncing a little on the balls of her boot clad feet. Jo looked so different from yesterday night. Not all dressed up, but with black woollen tights, a black mini-skirt, and a beige jumper paired with her brown leather jacket, brown boots, and a beige scarf. Her hair was loose around her face. Still, she didn’t look any less beautiful than the night before, just more natural. He wanted to hold her hand again. And now he felt like he was 14 years old.

He cleared his throat. “Yes, it did indeed.” Should he take her hand again? Could he? He remembered what he did the night before, but he was drunk then. And this morning when he hugged her, and kissed her cheek again, he was hung-over and still half asleep. Then when Jo took his hand when they left earlier, it was to drag him along. He had no idea what to do, and no idea how to read the signs. But she did take his hand and didn’t let go, right?

To hell with it all, he thought, and just shoved his hands in the pockets of his trousers. “So, what do you want to do next? You’ve been in London for a year and really never done any touristy things? Like, for real? Or were you joking yesterday, and I didn’t get it?” It was a possibility after all. When they drove to her house in the cab she looked outside the window and told him she had never been in London like a tourist. But in the state he was in, she could have just told him anything and he would have believed it.

“See, I told you so,” she beamed. “Well, of course I’ve seen the tourist spots. But I’ve never walked through London all day, and just went with the flow. I always had some place to be. And when Eva visited me, we went to dinner, drank wine, and went clubbing.”

Eva was one of her best friends, even if they didn’t see each other as much. They met in Eva’s semester abroad, as she was from Brussels originally, and then stayed in Hamburg. For seven years now, they visited each other at least twice a year, wherever they were at the time. She told Tom all about her and the other friends when they talked during dinner, and mentioned her yesterday as well.

“We can walk around London if you want to? Go through Hyde Park towards Buckingham Palace, and then Westminster Abbey and Big Ben? Only if you want to, of course.”

“Why wouldn’t I? It’s half an hour to Buckingham Palace, I can handle it if you can.” Tom bit his lip. Of course, he wanted to. He’d love it. But it was a crowded area, and he had no idea, if Jo even wanted to be seen with him, when they were spotted. “What is it, Tom?” she asked, and he realised that he didn’t answer for a few moments.

“There will be people. Quite a few young people I assume. I know, it’s Monday, but there are always people.” Jo just lifted a brow, and Tom sighed. “I’m okay with being just out in the open. I told you before, I just…I don’t give shit. But I understand if you don’t want to be seen with me, and I –“.

“I don’t have a problem with it,” Jo interrupted him. “We’re in public now, we went to dinner together. Almost nobody recognised you, and if they did, they didn’t care. I don’t care.”

He stared at her. Actually stared at her. Then he snapped out of it. Of course, she was right. They’ve been out and about before. “Okay then,” he smiled, “let’s go.”

***

Two hours later, Tom and Jo sat on a park bench in St. James’s Park. The weather was nice, it didn’t rain, and there even was some blue sky here and there. The birds that haven’t left to fly south yet were chirping, and there were joggers and walkers passing by Tom and Jo, while they looked towards the lake.

“What are you going to do in LA?” Jo asked after a relaxing silence. Somehow his close departure hadn’t come up yet. Maybe it was avoidance. She tried to make the question lighthearted, like it wasn’t a big deal, and tried to smile.

Tom sighed a little. “Promotion for Kong, mostly, and a meeting here and there.” He looked at her. Was she…frowning? “I’ll be back next week, though.” Maybe this wasn’t the right time to tell her he would have to leave for South Sudan the very next day then. They could still meet, right? If she wanted to. The way her smile as well as her eyes started to light up at the mention made Tom believe he definitely was on the right path.

“That’s good.” What was she even doing? She should really not sound that giddy, Jo thought a moment later. It sounded like they’d never see each other again. “I mean, you wanted a little break, right?”

Tom grinned. “Yes, I did, and I’m about to have one. The real promotion for the movie is going to start mid-February, with the premieres in March. Until then I’m kind of just able to do what I really want to do.”

“You don’t do what you want to do now?”

He laughed a little. “You’re a true little journalist, aren’t you?” Jo just shrugged – a little guiltily? “Of course, I do what I want, what I love. I basically don’t know how to do anything else, except maybe reading in ancient Greek. It just was a little easier…before.”

“Before?” Tom raised a brow, and she understood, “Before the last summer?”

He nodded. “Yeah, kind of. I mean, I don’t regret it. We got to know each other, we fell in love –“. He hesitated, and Jo couldn’t help but think that one of them might have been a little more invested than the other one. And she was the one to see Tom’s eyes gaze into the distance at the moment, as if remembering something. “Anyway. Now, it doesn’t matter at what event I’m about to show up, people seem to think I’ll either break down crying, or tell the tale of our epic love story.”

“And do you hate that so much that you wouldn’t want to do movies anymore?”

“No. I’ll always want to do movies, or theatre. It just was a little more fun and a little less work when I started.”

“So, the world won’t lose Tom Hiddleston over this?” she then jokingly asked, and pushed her shoulder against his a little bit.

He laughed, and shoved back a little. “No, definitely not.” He looked down at her, where she sat to his left. Really looked at her. Josefine was the first person he talked about this apart from his family, Luke, and Chris Hemsworth since they were filming Thor at that time, and he took Tom out for a beer, or invited him to his house more than once. “I don’t really care what the world thinks, though.”

“Your fans as well?” Jo winced a little after she asked, and looked up to Tom. He was somehow a little closer than he was just a minute ago. “I didn’t mean it like that but, hell, there would be some very disappointed girls out there.”

“Nah, I’m sure they could find someone else.”

“You’ve never really been on Tumblr before, have you?”

“Have you?”

She blushed. Jo could feel how it started on her face, and then travelled all the way down. “Uh, no. Not really, no. I… maybe I had a look when The Night Manager came out. But no. It’s…no.”

“You ramble, you know that? You’re cute when you ramble,” Tom whispered. Why was he whispering? He shouldn’t be whispering. Jo didn’t have any control over her body when he whispered. He cleared his throat. “You’re cute when you don’t ramble as well.”

“Hm.” Really, Jo? That was the only comment she was going to make? _Hm_? Fucking, _hm_? She searched for more to say, but realised that Tom was leaning even closer. How much closer could he even get before they would actually touch? Did he know what he was doing? “Tom…?”

“Yeah?” She felt his breath against her lips as he spoke. She tried to look him in the eyes, but his were focused on her lips. Was this really happening? This wasn’t happening right? Should she ask him, if this was happening? At that moment Tom let out a little laugh, and leaned back a little, mere millimetres maybe. “You’re rambling inside your head right now, too, aren’t you?”

“Are you about to kiss me?” There, she asked. What was even wrong with her? Well, she knew what was wrong. This whole situation was just wrong. She didn’t even know this was an option, and it shouldn’t be. She wasn’t here to kiss and make out.

“Shouldn’t I?” Again with the whispering.

“Don’t know.” Now she started as well. Great. This was going great.

Tom sighed, and then leaned back a little more. Somehow this wasn’t going as planned. Not that he’d planned any of this. Of course, as he said the night before, he had hoped that this and the evening counted as ‘dates’, but he would have never planned for a freaking kiss to happen. Neither did Josefine, apparently. He just wasn’t sure why exactly she didn’t want to. Again, he didn’t assume that every woman he met immediately wanted to kiss him – although he was pretty sure there were a few who didn’t mind – but he honestly felt like he and Jo had a connection. Now, that sounded just sappy.

“Look, Jo, I won’t kiss you, if you don’t want me to. It’s just…it felt right, in this moment. If you don’t –“.

“But I do!”

“Oh. Okay, then.” What were they even discussing then?

“It’s just, I don’t know, because you’re here now, but you’ll be leaving tomorrow. And then I won’t see you for a whole week. And that’s not even the only time you’ll be away, I mean, you’re nominated for so many awards, and I’m obviously not, and now I’m blabbering, and I’m sorry, I just –“.

“Jo, shut up for a moment, would you?” She didn’t even have time to process what Tom had just said because her brain was still a mess, and she didn’t even know what she was talking about. Of course, that wasn’t the reason. And she wanted to kiss him, but Jo had the feeling that ‘I’m going to write an article about you’ wasn’t the right thing to say in that moment. Or the absolute right thing to say maybe.

And then Tom’s lips were on hers, her brain caught up with his words, and she did indeed shut up. He didn’t press hard; in fact it was the lightest touch against her lips. Her eyes closed of their own accord, and she felt him sighing softly, and then his breath mingling with her own. She tilted her body on the bench a little to the right so that she was facing him more, and her left hand found its way to the lapel of his jacket, while she used her right hand to remain upright. Not an easy task while being kissed by Tom fucking Hiddleston.

Tom lifted both of his hands to Jo’s face to hold her in place. He pressed his lips against hers a little harder and was rewarded with a soft moan that made him feel all kinds of things. But mostly, it gave him the chance to push his tongue slowly in her opened mouth. She tasted like coffee mixed with a bit of chocolate. It felt like heaven.

He let go after a few moments, and rested his forehead against hers. They sighed simultaneously, and giggled softly.

“Shut you up, didn’t it?” he asked, and laughed.

“It did. Nice tactic.”

“Thank you, I’m quite proud of myself.”

“Don’t get ahead of yourself, Tom.”

“Okay,” he said softly, opened his eyes, and saw that Jo still had her eyes shut, leaning into him while he spoke. He closed the distance, which wasn’t really that much of a distance since he could still feel her lips against his while they spoke, and kissed her again. Yes, he would travel to LA the next day, and to South Sudan the next week. But there were phones, and texts, and he would absolutely see her when he was back from LA, even if it was for just a few hours. This would work, this had to work.

Jo’s head was empty. All she could register was Tom’s mouth on hers, and his hands that hold her close. He’d be gone for the next week, and then she could figure out how she’d get out of this mess. In the meantime, she would feel.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading and leaving kudos! Let me know what you think (if you want to)!


	7. So Anxious

“Jo, I’ve seen your boyfriend in a gorilla suit this morning.”

Jo rolled her eyes, and tried to hush Sam at the same time. First of all, she was barely awake after tossing and turning in bed the night before, and secondly, they were at work. She didn’t need anyone to know about her and Tom. Least of all at her workplace. “He’s not my boyfriend.”

She had however seen the gorilla suit herself. Not on YouTube or something, but in a picture Tom sent her sometime during the night, probably right after he came backstage. His hair was messy, his stubble was still there, and he grinned like an actual 5-year-old. He was a little sweaty as well, but Jo tried to ignore that. At least as much as she could ignore a sweaty Tom.

Sam didn’t seem to be convinced. At the moment, he was sitting on a chair in front of Jo’s desk, and scrunched up his nose. “But you went on two dates.”

“No, we didn’t.”

“Yeah, you totally did.” He leant over her desk now, lowering his voice. “Did he kiss you?”

Jo felt herself blush, and fought it. “I’m not telling you.” She tried not to think about Tom’s hands holding her face, how he tasted of coffee, and how his thumb brushed over her cheek when they separated after what felt like hours and seconds at the same time. Jo also absolutely didn’t think of Tom walking her back home, his pinkie touching hers ever so slightly while they walked side by side. Oh, and Jo also forgot the kiss good-bye in front of her door. No, she had never thought about that all day yesterday, or this morning.

“He did! That wasn’t a no.”

“That wasn’t a yes, either.”

“But you would have totally denied it, if he didn’t,” Sam grinned. “Good for you, little roomie!” With that he slapped Jo’s shoulder a little harder than necessary, winked, and then went to his own office.

With him being the deputy editor-in-chief, Jo felt even more guilty for not telling him anything, but if William Kaine said, you couldn’t tell anyone, you really couldn’t. Being her friend didn’t help, and telling Nick without Sam finding out was basically impossible. So, naturally, Jo felt ready to burst. It wasn’t from giddiness, or excitement, but from anxiety, guilt, and sheer panic. She spent the whole former day scolding herself for letting it go that far.

Jo liked the kiss; she even enjoyed it very much. But she led him on. It wasn’t enough that she was lying to him, on top of that, Jo was acting like she was dating Tom. She couldn’t do that. She couldn’t allow herself and Tom any more dates. What she did wasn’t fair to him anyway, she couldn’t add heartbreak to that betrayal as well.

So, it really was an easy thing to do, wasn’t it? He wouldn’t be there for a whole week, and then he’d land back in London and would immediately go to South Sudan the day after, as he had texted her yesterday. That would be another week. Although it would minimise her research time, it would give her enough space to get over this stupid developing crush, and get her back on track with the actual task. Totally easy, everything was going to be fine.

“Miss Kramer?!” Jo jerked at hearing William’s voice right next to her ear, and turned her head to the right. “I’ve been standing here for the last minute trying to get your attention. Is everything alright? Are there any problems with your little project? Which I’m still very excited about, I must tell you.”

“Sorry, William. No, no problems at all. I was just thinking about doing some more research during the next week, since Tom…Mr Hiddleston is not in the country right now.”

“That sounds good. But see, if you can maybe stay in contact with him. Makes the job easier, huh?” He winked, before turning, and headed back to his office, before Jo could even think of a response.

“Yeah, so much easier,” she muttered before focusing on the monitor in front of her to proofread the article that was due by lunchtime.

* * *

In the evening Jo considered herself lucky that Sam and Nick were out on a date night. Because she was pacing. Jo was actually pacing all through the flat, she even found herself in the bathroom twice, because somehow the flat was too small.

While in the morning, and during the day she had told herself that she had it under control, that she didn’t miss him, and that there was nothing to worry about, Jo started getting messages from Tom in the early evening. They were funny, and sweet, and of course she answered. So now, Jo was staring at 13 messages on her phone, and panicked. She didn’t even know why. All they did was texting. That still didn’t equal dating or getting more involved with Tom. On top of that, the texts made her smile.

> _T: Just finished a breakfast meeting. Could be worse ;) How was your day?_
> 
> _J: Stressful (as always), but good. About to head home, thinking about getting some dinner on the way. Strange, we’re like, a whole day apart._
> 
> _T: We are! But it’s great “talking” to you now…_
> 
> _J: I feel honoured that you thought of me ;)_
> 
> _T: Of course! Not just now by the way._
> 
> _J: I thought of you today as well…_
> 
> _T: You did? :)_
> 
> _J: …and how great you look in a monkey suit._
> 
> _T: Oh, ha ha. So, you’ve finally watched the video, and not just looked at the picture? And it’s an ape._
> 
> _J: Smart-arse. Yes, I’ve watched the video, loved it! I may even watch the movie, I liked the ape. (See, I’m learning.)_
> 
> _T: Such a fast learner! So, Kong is the only thing you may like about the movie? Nobody else?_
> 
> _J: Well, every movie with Samuel L. Jackson is kind of great, so I’d watch it for him as well ;)_
> 
> _T: Maybe until March I’ll have you convinced to watch the movie for more than one actor ;)_

And that was when Jo started to panic. Not because she of course would love to see the movie for Tom, or because he was ready to convince her. She panicked, because he was talking about March. March as in two months after January. She wouldn’t know him anymore then. Or at least, Jo was sure that Tom wouldn’t want to know her, and she couldn’t blame him.

> _T: Did I say something wrong? No pressure! I was joking, really._
> 
> _T: Jo?_
> 
> _T: Look, I’m about to go to another meeting right now. I didn’t want to scare you, I promise. March is a long time ahead, I know that. I… well, I have to go._
> 
> _J: No harm done! I picked up my food, and had a shower when I got home. I’ve seen your texts just now. Have a great day!_

That was a lie. Of course it was, but Tom didn’t need to know that. Gosh, she needed to tell someone. Jo couldn’t tell Sam or Nick, her family surely wouldn’t understand half of it, and every other friend she had in London was either working with her, or would just tell her not to do it, and go back to Germany.

So, Jo dialled the foreign number she knew by heart, and spoke as soon as she heard the phone being picked up. “I need your help!”

“Hello to you, too, dear Josefine. How are you this evening? I sincerely hope you’ve got a good reason to call me, the news are about to start, and I wanted to watch them while drinking a cup of tea. Ha! Did I sound English enough for a phone call with you?”

“I don’t have time for this, Eva. I can’t breathe, I’m panicking, I have a problem.”

“Okay, shoot.” That was what Jo loved about Eva. She could be incredibly silly, and making her laugh, but she was there and focused whenever it counted.

“So, my boss wants me to write a story about a celebrity, to earn me my promotion. You know, how much I love London, I can’t stay here without a job. The story is kind of investigative, because said celebrity was in the news quite a lot, but doesn’t talk about his private life. So, there I am, running into him in a café, make it look accidental, we drink coffee, we meet up, we go out, we kiss. I still need to write the article, I’m panicking, help me.”

“Wow. Okay… What do you want me to say?”

“I don’t fucking know, that’s why I’m freaking out here!” She didn’t really mean to yell, but Jo didn’t have time to apologise, she could do that later.

“Did you fall for him?” Eva was in work mode, and Jo was oh so thankful for it.

“No. I mean, we kissed, and we text, but it’s not like we’re exclusive or anything. We met up. He’s actually not even in London right now, not for the next two weeks. But he’s sweet, and caring.”

“Did you find out anything about him? Something that could help you?”

“Not really, no.”

“Okay. I know you want to stay in London, but do you think it’s worth it? I don’t want to be a moraliser here, but the way you met is kind of shady. Fucked up, to be precise.”

“I know, I know. But yes, I want to stay here. Maybe I just won’t go on another date with him? Tell him I need space? Or…to be friends? Or…something?” It helped to say all of this out loud, to get it out of her head.

“Do you think you can do that? Again, I’m not judging here, I just want you to know about the consequences.” She knew, Jo knew all of this. It wasn’t like she didn’t tell all of this to herself.

“I have to, Eva. I just needed to tell someone. As soon as I get the information for a good story, I’ll be able to walk away, and we won’t see each other again. And until then, I’ll just be a little more direct. So, I don’t have to meet him that often, right?” When there wasn’t an answer from Eva at the end of the line, Jo asked again. “Right?”

“And he’s really not an asshole?”

“He’s really not.”

Eva sighed. Jo could see her, rolling her eyes, pursing her lips, and twirling some blonde strands around her finger, before sighing again. “I’m not really sure you’ll be able to pull off this ‘We’re only friends’-thing, but I’m here, if you need to talk.”

“That’s all I’m asking.”

“Okay, Fine…,” she used her special nickname for Jo, the one she only used when she was mothering her, the one that didn’t sound British but German, and the woman knew she could count on Eva, “I hope you won’t end up broken hearted.”

“I won’t. My main concern is him, to be honest.”

“Alright.” There was a slight pause. “Is there any chance you can tell me who it is?”

“No.”

“Can I guess?”

It was the first time since those last messages from Tom that Jo actually let out a small laugh. “You can try.”

* * *

He fucked up. He really did, didn’t he? Tom paced his room he just got back to after a meeting for the upcoming Skull Island promotion. He didn’t even want to ask Jo about seeing that movie, and he sure as hell didn’t want to suggest they’d still date in March. If they were dating at all. He didn’t believe the ‘I was in the shower’-line one bit. He had scared her, and now Tom wasn’t sure, if he should persuade Jo at all. After the kisses they shared, he thought they were on the same page, but maybe not?

Honestly, he missed her. He knew that probably wasn’t healthy. He’d seen her three days ago, it wasn’t like it was a lifetime without her. But mostly, the actor felt lonely. At the same time he had the feeling that everyone was staring at him. He didn’t google himself, obviously, but he wasn’t stupid, and he had ears and eyes. People were still talking about his past relationship, and although he’d been in LA for the Emmys, this was the first time he was in a city with his former girlfriend, and the rumours went wild. Luke told him about them, but it was not like they could do anything about it, except him living his life like a normal human being, and hoping that somehow they would end up at different places at the same time with paparazzi taking pictures of him. Proofing they weren’t together, so to say.

So, really, it was only natural to want someone to keep him company, or to talk to, right? And having spent at least a part of his time with Jo during the last two weeks, it was only normal to miss her. A little bit, not much. Still more than Jo missed him, though, or so it seemed. After all, he didn’t get an answer from her. Maybe, he should just not crush on her that much. He could go slowly, ease into it, and just spend time with Jo. That was a great idea. Not dive into it too fast.

The kisses were pretty amazing, though. Like, really amazing. But maybe he shouldn’t think about this now, and take a cold shower instead. He would still have another meeting later in the afternoon, after all.

He was still pacing, Tom realised, and stopped. This was getting ridiculous. Two weeks! He’d known her for two weeks. And then he thought about kissing her again.

Tom groaned, and fell on the couch behind him. He leaned all the way back so he was laying on it fully, and rubbed a hand over his face. He would have so many meetings that upcoming week, that he probably wouldn’t have much time to write her, but he was absolutely sure of the fact that he couldn’t wait another week after that to see Jo again. So, Tom did the only thing he could think of at the moment, and grabbed his phone from his pocket.

> _T: Good, so you know I was joking about seeing Kong before. But I’m not joking now. See me when I come back?_
> 
> _J: Of course, you’ll have to tell me everything about your time in South Sudan._
> 
> _T: I don’t mean after that trip. I mean before, when I come back from LA._
> 
> _J: Tom, you’ll come back on the 22nd, and you’ll leave on the 23rd. You won’t have time to meet me._

Tom smiled, and ignored her objection. She remembered his travel plans.

> _T: I’ll arrive in the afternoon. I’m totally selfish here. I’ll probably take a nap. So I’ll need your help packing, and cooking. And I want to see you. Come to my house? I’ll text you the address? Please._

He was almost tempted to send a selfie of him pouting to go with the message, but refrained from doing so. He went all in. If she didn’t want to meet him, his world wouldn’t shatter, and he wouldn’t bother her for the next two weeks. He would distance himself then. His hands became sweaty. Still, he didn’t have to wait as long as he thought, and Jo’s answer surprised him.

> _J: I’ll be there._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think? I'd love to hear your feedback!


	8. Secret

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no idea how Tom’s house looks like, and I don’t know anything from the inside except from the shots of the fireplace and books we got to see. Also, this is fanfiction and I don’t think that Tom did anything like the thing he admits in this chapter.

_I know I don't know you_  
_But I want you so bad_  
 _Everyone has a secret_  
 _Oh, can they keep it_  
 _Oh, no they can't_

_“Secret” by Maroon 5_

This was a very stupid idea, Jo thought as she left the underground station closest to the address Tom had given her, holding the bag with the food she offered to bring over from the Indian place two stops before. By ‘stupid’ she didn’t mean the take away, but this whole meeting – a date, she supposed since every time she and Tom had talked over the last week, the word ‘date’ came up. But it would be alright, she told herself, crossing the street to get to Tom’s house.

She had never seen it up close, though she probably could have looked it up in her research. Somehow that felt wrong. Now, she stood in front of the gate that shielded the house behind from views. Still, Jo could already see some of the red and brown stones above the fence.

Jo pressed the button, and almost instantly heard the buzzer opening the door. She couldn’t help the smile on her face; someone inside seemed to be really eager to see her.

And indeed, as she walked the short way from the gate to the front door, she was already greeted by the handsome actor, who looked a little bit like an overtired, but excited puppy; positively glowing.

The woman felt herself move a little faster before she could register what she was doing. She was entirely too happy to see him. She didn’t slow down.

“You’ve made it!” he exclaimed, sounding a little relived, happy, and at the same time as tired as he looked. His eyes sparkled, though. “I was afraid you’d get lost,” he then grinned when Jo was close enough to step into his arms for a welcoming hug. Somehow it didn’t feel strange despite the fact that this was the first physical contact they had since kissing the previous week.

“I do know how to read an address, and a map, Tom,” Jo mumbled into his chest, pouting.

“Missed you, too,” he just answered, whispering in Jo’s ear before letting go. “Plus, you bring food with you, so I’d be really sad, if you hadn’t found it.”

“Shut up!” Jo muttered and hit Tom’s chest lightly, as she stepped out of the embrace, and looked up at him. He really looked like he hadn’t slept all week. Right now, he should probably go to bed – alone – instead of entertaining her. So, she told him. “You look like I shouldn’t keep you up tonight. Should we cancel? I’ll come back when you’re back from your Unicef trip.”

Tom frowned. Why did Jo always look and act like she didn’t want to be there; having a date? And why did she still come? She wasn’t all wrong, though. “Well, I’m knackered. But, I’m also hungry, and I meant it when I said I missed you. So, you’ll stay. It’s a date after all,” he winked.

She rolled her eyes, but couldn’t help her smile. “We’ll see about that,” she answered as Tom led her inside. “I never said it was.”

Tom laughed out loud. “You didn’t say no, either.”

* * *

“Well, that was way easier than I thought,” Jo said, looking down at Tom’s suitcase in his guest bedroom. “You didn’t need my help at all to begin with, did you?” Her green eyes met his blue ones that sparkled with mirth.

But at least Tom had the decency to look sheepish. He held up his hands, but couldn’t help the chuckle that left his mouth as he answered, “To be fair, I really thought I would just crash here at my house and sleep all through the afternoon.” Seeing Jo’s raised eyebrow, Tom continued, “But I didn’t, so I put out my clothes. It’s kind of easy to pack when you’ve been there before.”

He rambled, and Jo loved that she had the ability to make him all flustered. More than she should, probably. “It’s really okay, Tom,” she laughed. “I mean, I got that tasty food and a great tour of your house out of this.”

She really did. His house was just him, Jo could feel this even after knowing him for barely a month. It was kind of obvious that a man was living there, the typical decorative pillows or scented candles were missing, but his whole house still felt incredibly homey. Right in the entrance hall there were photos of Tom’s friends and family, some with himself in the pictures. From the hallway you could walk right in the white open kitchen area, with enough space to have a full family dinner. Around the corner was the living room, hosting a large wall of books, a fire place, movie posters, paintings, and of course a large TV and an even larger shelf with as many movies as one could imagine. The sitting area was dominated by a comfy looking black L-shaped couch, and two fitting armchairs that were arranged around a massive coffee table. It was a room filled with Tom’s passions, and Jo immediately fell in love. With the room, of course.

The two other doors in the hallway led to Tom’s study and a guest bathroom that was larger than Jo’s bathroom in her own flat. Well, everything was taller and larger than in Jo’s flat. But that was what she’d expected before even going on the tube that night.

After the delicious food, Tom led Jo up the stairs to a gallery, that overlooked the living room, and almost the kitchen area as well, and housed Tom’s bedroom – not that she had seen it, but Tom told her that it was behind that door – with an en-suite, another guest bathroom, and a guest bedroom, where they were currently packing. Or, had just finished packing.

“I’m glad you like it, darling,” Tom smiled at her, his eyes beaming. He then looked down, and stroke his neck with his right hand. A nervous gesture as Jo had found out. She was almost afraid of what would come next. Neither of them had mentioned the kisses, or made any hints in that direction. Him being all nervous now, made Jo fidgeting as well. “There’s still the opened bottle of wine on the table. Care to finish it with me? It IS a date after all.”

Tom was teasing her endlessly with that word all throughout the evening, probably thinking that she would break, if he made that joke – she was sure it wasn’t a joke anymore – often enough.

That was also why Jo enjoyed the look on Tom’s face immensely when she answered, “Yes, I would love to finish it with you.” He looked like he had a mild stroke, or maybe was close to choking. Jo grinned. “But I want us to play a game. Well, maybe not a game, but a real conversation. We ask each other questions, and the other person has to answer honestly. Dates are there to get to know each other after all, right?” She tried not to let her guilty conscience consume her as she turned, and walked out the door without waiting for an answer. But she smiled, when she heard Tom’s feet shuffling behind her, trying to catch up.

* * *

“Dogs or cats?”

Tom chuckled as he put his half-drunk glass of wine back on the coffee table, and got comfortable on the couch, tugging his feet under himself. “Really? That’s your first question, Jo?”

Jo grinned in her own glass. “Yes, mister ‘what’s your favourite colour?’. I want to go with ‘dogs or cats’.”

“Well, I just didn’t want to throw you off. This is a possible date, you said so yourself. I can’t offend you now, can I?”

“Just answer the question, Hiddleston.”

“Dogs. We had a Golden Retriever when I was really young, and I want to have dogs again. But at the moment I’m just too busy.” He winced a little as he admitted this. Not because he didn’t have time for a dog, that was really nothing to be ashamed about. He would get one someday. But in front of him, watching with her big, green, and sparkling eyes, sat the woman he wanted to have dates with, the woman who had this beautiful red lips he wanted to kiss again. Right now, and since the minute she stepped through the gate more than two hours ago. If he admitted to not having enough time for a pet, would she think he didn’t have enough time for her as well?

No, this was stupid, he thought a moment later. She was not someone who couldn’t be left alone for eight hours. Maybe opening that second bottle of wine wasn’t such a good idea after all. Especially, since he would have to get up before 5 a.m. the next day.

“That’s a problem a lot of hard-working people face, I’d believe,” Jo nodded, before setting her own glass on the table, and mirroring Tom’s position on the couch. “So, next question, since you’re so bored by mine,” she then winked, challenging Tom.

He cleared his throat. Somehow he absolutely knew exactly what he wanted to ask. She always was so guarded around him, never revealing too much, except for the one day they’d kissed. Tom wanted to know if he had the right feeling, why she would be like this around him.

“What’s your biggest fear? And I don’t mean that in a ‘shark’, or ‘spider’ kind of way, but fears inside, things that you feel passionate about.” When Jo didn’t answer for the next seconds, and seemed to only swallow and getting paler and paler, Tom feared that he’d maybe somehow broken her. “Josefine? You don’t have to answer, of course.”

He moved his hand, and touched hers softly. It was that moment that seemed to melt her. She blinked a few times, before she looked at Tom, and spoke. “That’s a little heavier than a question about favourite colours or pets,” she then chuckled nervously. “But I guess that’s the goal, right? So… My biggest fear is probably to disappoint the people that care for me, the people that believe in me. I make friends pretty easily, and I’m not good at saying no. So, when people trust me with a task, or ask me for something, I’ll do it. And then I’m afraid to make a mess of things. I don’t trust people that fast, because when I do I’m all in, and when I’m all in it’s easier to disappoint people.” She paused, and swallowed, looking everywhere but him. Tom loved how open she was about this. He admired her for it. Jo continued, “Well, that’s it, I guess,” she shrugged, and looked back at him, chewing her lower lip a little bit.

“Thank you for answering me. And I think it’s very common for people to be afraid of letting people down. You don’t want to hurt the people you care for. And most of the time, the people you care for are also the people that care for you. So, I know where you’re coming from.” He squeezed her hand that he was still holding, and gave her an encouraging smile. “I like this game,” Tom continued, winking at her.

“Tom, I –“ But the woman in front of him stopped, her eyes moving between his. “I just… Tom –“

“Yes?”

Jo shook her head. “It doesn’t matter. It just got a little deep right there.” She obviously tried to make light of the topic, and chuckled, but Tom knew it wasn’t that easy. “So, is it my turn now?”

He studied her. “Are you sure you’re alright?” to which she only nodded, and smiled. “Okay, then.”

“Since you went there, I won’t hold back anymore either, just so you know,” Jo grinned. “Tell me something you’ve never told anyone before. A secret you have, or something you’ve done you would like to forget.”

Josefine knew what she was doing, she absolutely did. And at the same time, she never imagined that she would feel this bad about it. The situation was almost comically. She answered his question honestly, and now she was minutes away from getting possible information that could make Tom hate her as soon as she would use it. Disappointing a person that cared for her. This was all sorts of messed up. She was glad that Tom had opened that second bottle of wine, though she would need another glass and a call with Eva as soon as she got home. Jo felt her heart racing as she looked at Tom, feeling his large hand still covering hers.

“Okay…wow… I didn’t think I would ever do this, but I guess, there’s a first time for everything. And there actually is one thing I’ve never told anyone, including the people involved.” At Jo’s raised eyebrow Tom just shrugged, and continued, “You’ll get why.” He took a deep breath, Jo felt his hand getting a little sweaty, and she braced herself. This could be it.

“When Thor became popular, I…well…me and Chris became popular as well. Even before the movie came out, it started to become a thing, you could say. We got a lot of attention, we travelled a lot. I had a girlfriend at the time, who stayed in London while we went all over the world, filming, doing interviews, conventions, and promotion. We met a lot of people, a lot of attractive women wanted to know who we were.” Tom stopped, and moved his hand away from hers, just to rub both of his hands over his thighs, then over his neck, resting them behind his head, closing his eyes. “Gosh, I can’t believe I’m doing this. But it’s about dating, right?” he chuckled humourlessly. “I saw another woman for about two weeks, while still in a relationship with my then girlfriend,” he let out in a rush. “I cheated on my girlfriend. The other woman didn’t know I’ve had one at that time.”

Jo felt her heart beating faster than ever before. This was it. She had something on him. The perfect Tom Hiddleston cheated on his girlfriend, and nobody knew about it. Of course, it was about six or seven years ago, but cheating was something the public or the media didn’t forget so easily. Prince Charles and Camilla never shook that off. Fuck.

Tom obviously took her silence as criticism and explained himself quickly. “It was just two weeks. I felt terrible, it was just sex, and only about four times. I couldn’t tell my girlfriend, I was afraid to tell my friends, and the other woman didn’t know enough about me. It ended before I left for London again. I never met her again, and my girlfriend and I broke up half a year later.” Jo still didn’t say anything, and Tom started to panic, opening his eyes, and looking at her again. “Oh fuck, you hate me now, right? It was only once, I’ve never cheated on anyone after that.”

“I,” Jo croaked out, “I don’t hate you. It just took me by surprise. I don’t judge you. I wouldn’t have asked you just to judge you afterwards.” It was true. It wasn’t like he was a serial cheater. He wasn’t even 30 at that time, and got a lot of attention. At the moment she just tried to come to terms with the fact that she probably had a story, and that she didn’t feel relieved, happy, or even a little bit like this could be her scoop.

“Well, I do feel horrible. I mean, this is not exactly a great story for a date. I basically just told you I could cheat on you anytime. Which I wouldn’t. Fuck, we’re not even really dating, and I already fuck it up. I’m so sorry, you should just tell me you hate me now, or something. I’m rambling…maybe you should stop m-“

He couldn’t talk anymore, because Jo’s lips on his stopped him dead in his tracks. It wasn’t a sweet kiss, either. Her lips were hard on his, and Tom barely had the time or power to breathe, but let out a soft – and quite embarrassing – moan, which only helped Jo to deepen the kiss. Tom only sat there for the first moments of the kiss, letting Jo caress his tongue with her own. She smelled of a little rain, and vanilla, and tasted of red wine. He loved it.

Before Tom knew what was happening, Jo’s hands were on his chest, her body following. He just had enough time to unclasp his hands from his neck, before Jo sat on his lap, straddling him. When Tom heard Jo’s little moan, his brain finally caught up with his body, and his hands found Jo’s waist. He tilted his head, breathing Jo in, participating in the kiss. He loved this.

But just as quick as it started, it was over again, and Tom actually had to hide his pout. “Sorry,” Jo whispered, out of breath. “I thought I’d try your method of shutting people up. I’m not judging you, everything is fine, it’s been a long time, and I won’t tell.” Tom heard her swallow hard. So, she was just as affected by this as he was.

He chuckled a bit. “I feel like we should not try that method with just anyone,” he whispered against her lips, stealing another short kiss. They still both had their eyes closed, chests heaving, and hands clinging to each other.

Jo agreed, “No, definitely not.” She rubbed her nose softly against his, lips brushing Tom’s. Then she sighed. “I think I should go.”

“No. No, you really shouldn’t,” he almost whined. “Stay.”

But Jo shook her head, and Tom knew she was right even before she said it. “You have to get up really early, you’ll be in South Sudan and actually have to be awake for that, if I want you here with me in a week.”

“Do you?” he asked. “Want to be here with me a week from now?”

They both were still in their bubble, Jo cuddling closer to him, as she answered, “Yes, I would really like that.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Btw I’ll try to stick to the actual time line, but I won’t have ALL the right dates, since it’s fanfiction and the research of where Tom was at what time (if it’s not an event but a sighting) is a little creepy.
> 
> Plus, in upcoming chapters he needs to be at some places that he didn’t actually visit. For plot reasons and all of that. And if I don’t change some dates, my plot line will be a mess :D


	9. The Troubles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You think it’s easier  
> To put your finger on the trouble  
> When the trouble is you  
> And you think it’s easier  
> To know your own tricks  
> Well, it’s the hardest thing you’ll ever do
> 
> “The Troubles” by U2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh Gosh, I’m so sorry! Real life got in the way of writing a little bit. Also, no real Tom in this chapter, and it’s a little shorter and dialogue heavy, but they needed to talk about the stuff, because the part about Sam and his job may be significant for things to come. Chapter 10 will have Tom, and fluff and The Jungle Book! But have fun with chapter 9 first!

The next days were strange for Josefine. She felt like she was in some kind of limbo. She had a story, one that would get her readers, one that William certainly would approve. And still, she hadn’t told him, and she didn’t write it down. Of course, she made some notes, thought about how to approach the topic, but didn’t even outline the article. Jo told herself that it was simply because she still had time until the middle of January before she would have to show it to William, or – being the deputy editor-in-chief – to Sam. Lots and lots of time, so no need to write the article now. After all, she still had to do her regular work.

Well, she needed a few days, and the weekend, for that conclusion. Tom had written her the evening he arrived at the UNICEF camp to tell her he’d arrived safely, and again on Saturday, just because he wanted to. The fact that she was extremely giddy about that caused a phone call with Eva on Sunday evening, when Jo couldn’t concentrate on anything anymore.

“How’s the boyfriend?” was the first thing Eva asked. “Do you have any news? Did you sleep together? Are you going to move to Germany? Or did you find all of his dirty laundry?”

Jo rolled her eyes. “He’s not my boyfriend, Eva. We had a date, like I told you.” She twirled the wine in her glass as she sat on her couch on the gallery. “We made out, and before he told me he cheated on his girlfriend he had some years ago. Nobody knows about that.”

On the other side of the line, Eva almost choked. At least, it sounded like it. “Wow. So, you’ve got your story?” to which Jo only mumbled something even she wasn’t sure about, which prompted Eva to ask her friend again. “Jo? You’ve got you story, right? So, you’ll end this?”

“Yes, I guess.”

“What do you mean, ‘you guess’? That’s the story. You told me it was about the story, so now you have it. You can stop meeting him, tell him some lie, why you can’t see him anymore, and then by the beginning of February, he’ll know why. But then it won’t matter, because this was just one date – or three dates – and nothing more. Right?” Josefine knew that sound in Eva’s voice. It was the ‘I repeat everything you told me, but I know you’re wrong, but look how much I support you’-voice. Jo hated it. Mostly because Eva was almost always right.

“Well, I’m not even sure if it’s that good. Maybe I’ll find something better.” Eva’s silence told Jo her best friend saw right through that lie. “Or not,” she muttered.

“You’ve fallen for him!”

“What? No!” That was ridiculous. They’ve known each other for a month. She didn’t fall for men that quickly. Except that other men weren’t him, and that you could probably fall for him in thirty seconds, just by looking at him.

“Maybe I believe you, if you shout that a little louder next time,” Eva snickered from the other side of the line, then sighed, “You’re in big trouble, Fine.”

“I –“

“You are. I’ve known you for a long time. I’ve seen and heard you falling for your boyfriends. I know I’m not there, and I know you can’t tell me, and that he won’t be your boyfriend, but it’s in your voice.” She paused, then added, “He won’t be your boyfriend, right? I know you’re panicking at the moment, because of your job, the money, the flat, and London, and that’s why you’re doing this ‘going on dates to get information’-thing, but that’s not you. You won’t go as far as faking a real relationship with him, right? Because that’d be fucked up.”

Jo didn’t say anything for a long time, and Eva didn’t, either. Her best friend was right. Stringing people along wasn’t something she would normally do. Faking feelings wasn’t like Jo as well. So why was she so willing to do this with Tom, _to_ Tom?

She groaned when the realisation dawned on her. “I won’t. And I’m not faking the dates, either.”

Josefine had to hold the phone away from her ear when Eva let out a scream. “Ha! See? I’ve told you! You’ve fallen for him!”

“No! Really, I haven’t! But I guess, I could, if I continue this.”

“So, either you don’t continue, or you will both end up heartbroken, hm?” She could hear the sympathy in her best friend’s voice, but it didn’t really help either way.

“I guess so.”

“Or...well, you could just drop it, tell him now, and you’ll have a great long-distance relationship as soon as he realises, you didn’t cause any damage, and he’s madly in love with you.”

“You know, I don’t want to go back. I’ll just have to not fall in love, and have him not fall in love, either.”

“Yeah, sounds like a plan,” came the sarcastic reply. “But I guess I support you anyway. Just for the record, I think it’s a stupid idea.”

“Duly noted.”

“And another thing; I think it would be way easier to talk about this, if I knew who that man was.”

Despite the situation she was in, Jo managed a grin. “Yeah. No.”

* * *

After the phone call, Jo felt better. She still didn’t know what exactly she should do with the information, since she still felt uncomfortable exposing a man she spent a lot of time with like this. But at least, Jo knew that she had support in Eva. She might yell at her, but she would be there.

Jo’s good mood lasted all Sunday night, and she almost made it to the whole Monday as well, if it wasn’t for a text from Tom, and a dinner with Nick and Sam in the evening.

> _T: I’m back in London, darling! All safe, just tired!_
> 
> _J: I’m so glad to hear that!_
> 
> _T: I missed you._
> 
> _J: I missed you, too. How was it?_
> 
> _T: I can’t even begin to explain the things I saw…_
> 
> _J: You want to talk about it?_
> 
> _T: Right now, all I want is a hot shower and then sleep for a week. But I’ll be on the BBC tomorrow to talk about this, and then I’m off having all sorts of meetings. I’ll be free on Thursday, though!_
> 
> _J: Me, too ;)_
> 
> _T: You want to come over?_
> 
> _J: Would love to! And now go to sleep! And shower first!_
> 
> _T: And think of you._
> 
> _J: That, too, if you want._

So, they’d have another date. No big deal. Jo actually was a little giddy, and couldn’t wait to listen to Tom speaking about South Sudan. She’d definitely make sure to watch his interview on the BBC as well. She missed his voice, his eyes, and his mouth. Gosh, how she missed his mouth. His hands as well, or just sitting next to him.

“Jo?!” Nick’s voice brought her back to the present, sitting at the dinner table with her two roommates, a nice roast and mashed potatoes in front of her.

“Hm?” was her not that well-articulated reply as she looked into the two grinning faces of Nick and Sam.

“Are you still with us?” Sam grinned. “I think we’ve been talking to you for five minutes now.”

“Yes, sorry. Just…thought about something.”

“Something or some _one_?” Nick chimed in, earning a high-five and a large grin from his boyfriend, but only a glare from the woman at the table. “Oh, come on! It was your handsome actor boyfriend you just thought about!”

“Not –“

“Not your boyfriend, we know,” Sam said, rolling his eyes. “You told us, multiple times actually. But you date, you can’t deny that. And I saw that look on your face just now. He may not be in town at the moment, or be your boyfriend, but you want him to. One thing or the other, or both, I’m not sure yet.” The grin around his red-bearded chin was large, and his eyes sparkled. Nick looked equally giddy, stuffing his face with the last of his mashed potatoes. Great, at least they had fun with this.

Jo sighed. Maybe it would be easier to just give in and go along with it. “It’s nicer when he’s here, yes. And maybe I miss him a little bit. We’ll meet Thursday night.”

“Oh, that’s our date night. He can come over when Nick and I aren’t here then.”

“That’s very considerate of you, but we’ve already made plans for me to go over to his house.” Jo could see the disappointment in both men’s faces, and looked at her plate to hide the grin spreading on her face. She was sure her roommates would have gone on their date a little later to catch a glimpse of Tom. “Maybe next time.”

“So there will be next times. Nice. I must say, I really admire his trust in you.”

Jo raised her eyes to look at Sam. “What do you mean?”

“Well,” he shifted a little bit. “Obviously, I don’t mean you personally, but I just mean that he must really like you. It’s not easy for actors to trust journalists enough to actually date them. And for Tom, after the summer he had, it must be especially hard. So, kudos to him,” he then explained, before chewing on the last of piece of roast.

“He’s right. After everything the media did to him and that relationship, he must really put a lot of trust in you.” Nick stopped a moment and then looked at Jo, suddenly alarmed. “Is everything alright? You’re pale. We didn’t mean it critically. It’s a compliment actually.”

She felt horrible, absolutely horrible. It was bad enough when she talked about all of this to Eva, but it remained anonymous then. Hearing them both talk about the past summer, Tom’s relationship with the media, and his trust in her made Jo feel sick. It scrambled her brain to think about it, and she tried to come up with an explanation for her behaviour, but there was nothing, just empty space. They all would hate her when the story would come out, right? Sam and Nick, Eva, and let alone Tom.

“Hey, everything’s alright. Remember, I’m a journalist, too. I know our reputation is quite shitty sometimes depending on where we work, but I promise you, you’ll be fine.”

“Yes,” Jo answered, finally finding her voice. “Yes, you’re right. Thank you, Sam. I guess, I really shouldn’t screw this up then, right?” She forced an easy smile on her face, but wasn’t really sure, if she succeeded, especially with Sam and Nick looking at her all concerned and with pity.

“Have you never talked about that? You being a journalist? Hell, Sam and I talked about it on our first dates, and he’s not even remotely covering my field of expertise…yet.”

Jo shrugged. She really just wanted this conversation to be over. “I told him what I do for a living in the beginning, told him it was okay to leave. But he stayed, and we never mentioned anything about trusting each other again. We’ve known each other for a month, mind you.” She paused, looked up, and saw the looks Sam and Nick threw at each other when it dawned on her. “Wait, what do you mean, he’s not covering your field of expertise ‘yet’?”

Sam sighed. “I didn’t want to tell you tonight.” He shot a look at Nick, before he continued, “but I’m resigning. I’m going to start at the London Times in February. The financial news department searched for a new head. And here I am.”

“So, we won’t be co-workers anymore?”

“We won’t be co-workers anymore,” he nodded. “Are you alright with that?”

“I’m going to miss you at work, I guess. But I’m proud of you, Sam. I’m really proud.” She swallowed, but beamed at him. Tonight was a bit much for her. Sam always kept her grounded at work. She wasn’t sure how it would be working without him. That didn’t mean she wasn’t happy for her friend, though.

“Thank you. What are you working on, by the way? I feel like I always see you and William whispering. It’s one of his secret projects again, isn’t it?”

The laughter didn’t sound real, even to her ears. “Nothing. Absolutely nothing.”

“You’re working on ‘nothing’?” Nick asked, eyebrows raised. “Well, that’s not suspicious at all.”

“I mean, of course, I’m working on things. Like, regular things. A lot of regular things, premieres, books, music. You know?”

“You’re rambling.”

“I’m not rambling, Sam. I’m not. I just have a lot of work, as you know, and yes, William asked me to do a little research on something. But I can’t really tell anyone. So, stop making me nervous.”

“Okay.”

“Okay, good.” Jo stood up from the table. “Hey, are you alright with cleaning up? I mean, I cooked. And I really need to use the bathroom. Thanks.” Without waiting for an answer, Jo marched to the bathroom, closing the door a little harsher than necessary. This was all becoming a big mess. And dating an actor didn’t mean she could act herself, as she just realised.

At the kitchen table, Nick and Sam shared a look. “Well, that wasn’t strange at all,” the redhead then whispered, receiving a nod in return.


	10. Safe and Sound

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I could lift you up  
> I could show you what you want to see  
> And take you where you want to be
> 
> ‘Safe and Sound’ by Capital Cities

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know! An update! I don’t know how it happened that fast, either! It’s late (well, early, 3 a.m., but this just had to come out and I needed to post it. This is fluff, pure fluff, you might want to brush your teeth after this. Enjoy, I’ll be in my bed now, dreaming about this probably.  
> If you want to see inspiration or outfits for the story, check out my tumblr on www.titriwrites.tumblr.com

“Mum, I know, I know,” Tom sighed, and rubbed a hand over his face. Since she'd greeted him on the phone five minutes ago, Diana Hiddleston went on and on about how she hadn't seen her son in two weeks.  “You do know I've been in LA and South Sudan, right? I barely had time to eat or sleep.” Well, except for the one night he met Jo and this night when he again was about to meet the woman he had kind of missed.

“Then come over tonight? Stay until Sunday? You didn’t have any plans last time we spoke, right?”

“Right...see... I can't tonight. But I'll try to come by sometime over the weekend, yes?”

“Oh, what are you doing?” Was Tom imagining things now, or did his mother sound a little smug? But what should she be smug about?

“I have plans.” There was no way in hell he would tell her about Jo. Tom just knew she would worry. He checked his watch. It was 5 p.m. and Tom knew he should slowly start to get ready. Jo was supposed to come over at 7, he still had to shower and wanted to prepare the food before she arrived. Also, he probably should tidy up the living room a little bit, since there were scripts all over his table, and maybe he should clean the bathroom from used towels as well.

“Uh huh.” Tom almost didn’t hear his mother’s muttered response.

“What the…” he swallowed the swear word, though he was fairly certain his mother knew a few of her own. “What does ‘uh huh’ mean?”

“Having plans with the new woman?”

“What…how? What do you… woman?” Yes, he spluttered. But what else was he supposed to do? How in the world could his mother know about Jo? Or was she just guessing? Luke didn’t say anything about pictures, so Tom was more than confused at that moment. He paced through his house, from his kitchen to the living room. Tom told himself it was because he had to receive those scripts, but if he was honest with himself, it was definitely because he needed to move. “How the hell would you know about a woman?”

“I talked to Emma last week, and we were both suspicious. We weren’t really sure, though. But there is a woman? Am I correct?” The glee in Diana’s voice was obvious. And of course his sister was in on this, too.

Tom stopped pacing, and dropped his script. “Wait, why were you suspicious? And why are you two talking about that?”

“We three, actually. Sarah was in on it, too. Maybe they’ve also talked to your father, but I doubt that.”

“Mum, you know that’s not what I was focussing on. So, why were you suspicious?”

“Well, we saw pictures of you in the papers and on the internet, and –“

Before Diana could continue with her explanation, her son interrupted her. “I told you not to believe what the media say or show.”

“Yeah, right. Anyway, I didn’t read anything. But you did look healthier, and happier, too. Something in the way you held yourself. So, who is she?”

“Who is who?”

“You know what I mean. Who is the woman? Where did you meet, what does she do?”

Tom was just preparing an answer, in which he would just tell Jo’s name, and that they met a month ago, when his mobile beeped with an incoming text.

> _J: Tom, I’m so sorry! I have to cancel._
> 
> _T: Is everything alright, darling?_
> 
> _J: I hope you know I wouldn’t just cancel like that. I’m really not feeling so well at the moment._
> 
> _T: Oh no! Can I do anything to help? Is it the flu?_
> 
> _J: I wish you could. It’s…cramps (and I can’t believe I’m telling you this, it must be the hormones), the monthly cramps. I took the medicine too late, got a headache and slightly sick. Now all I want to do is curl up in a ball, eat chocolate, and drink wine. I don’t have chocolate and wine, though, so I’ll just curl up and die._

Tom chuckled slightly, forgetting all about his mother on the phone, when he saw Jo typing again.

> _J: I’ve actually sent this?! God, that’s embarrassing._
> 
> _T: I’ve lived with three women. This is not embarrassing. I’m sorry you’re hurting. And if your experience is anything like my sisters’… I’m sorry!_
> 
> _J: No, I’m the one who should be sorry. I really wanted to meet. But my weekend is packed with shows to go to, and I know you always managed to make time for me. Now I feel bad._
> 
> _T: Don’t feel bad. We’ll figure something out. Feel better soon!_

“Tom? Hey, son, are you still there with me?”

He jerked, the phone call with Diana almost forgotten. “Sorry, I’ll tell you all about it on the weekend, but I need to go.” Tom didn’t even wait for a response before he hung up his phone. He had a plan, he needed to get going.

* * *

“Jo, we’re going now!” Sam called up the stairs where Jo was lying on her couch, groaning and in pain.

“It’s okay, leave me alone to die.”

“Stop being so overly dramatic!” Jo couldn’t see it, but was pretty sure that she felt Sam rolling his eyes.

That didn’t stop her, though. “I’m not dramatic at all, I’m almost dead. And now you’re leaving me to spend time together, eating pasta without me, having fun without me! And you’re not even coming to work tomorrow. You’re leaving me alone all night! I had to cancel my plans, because I’m dying! And I don’t have anything to eat, either.”

Sam laughed. Why? She felt like her insides were pressed together in her lower abdomen, she was hungry and felt sick at the same time, and she was afraid to change her position on the couch, in case the pain got worse.

“Are you done?” came Nick’s voice from the bathroom – at least Jo thought so, since she couldn’t get up to see.

“Shut up,” she grumbled.

“Very mature. And we’ve actually cooked for you when you were at work, because you told Sam and Mary – repeatedly – that you were going to either bite someone’s head off, or jump in front of the next train, if you didn’t get mac and cheese. All you have to do is come downstairs.”

Now she felt bad. Not bad enough to apologise, though. “Can’t you bring it upstairs?”

Sam snickered, “You have to get it yourself, we have to go. Bye, Jo!”

“Whatever,” she mumbled, and sighed when the door closed. She would say sorry the next day when she felt better. They’ve lived with her for one year now, they were used to it. And maybe moving around wasn’t that bad for her, either.

Jo was just about to get up from the couch – with lots of hissing and moaning – when she heard the front door open. “Ha! I knew I could guilt trip you!”

Nick’s answer was only a short “Just opening the door!” before it was closed again. Jo frowned. What the hell was that supposed to mean?

“Jo?” came a tentative, deep, and smooth British voice. No. That couldn’t be who she thought it was. There was no way in hell a handsome actor could be in her flat. Not when she was in a pink jumpsuit covered with teddy bears, with her hair in a messy bun, and her contacts replaced by her glasses. Oh, she didn’t wear any make-up, either. She was dreaming, right? “Uh, are you upstairs?” the voice asked again, and Jo could hear footsteps on the stairs.

“No!” she cried out. “I mean, yes! Yes, I’m upstairs, but –“

It was too late. There, on the top step stood Tom, dressed in simple black jeans and a light blue sweater. Still, he looked incredibly good and well rested, while Jo didn’t. Tom also carried a large shopping bag, and was waving a little sheepishly at her now. “Hi.” He looked her up and down, obviously trying to not to be too obvious about it. Jo wondered if she’d rather stand in front of him naked than in this horrific outfit.

She cleared her throat. “Hi,” she then said rather awkwardly. “I didn’t know you were coming. I did send you the texts, right? I didn’t dream that?” There she went again, babbling away.

“You also said you didn’t feel well, and that you craved chocolate and wine.” He held his bag up. “So I thought I’d come over with a few useful items.” He still didn’t come closer and then pointed downstairs. “But I can go and just leave this here, if you want.”

Jo shook her head, and also tried to hold back tears. Stupid hormones. “You brought me stuff? That’s… thank you, really.” She pointed at herself a little awkwardly. “Let me just change.”

“No, don’t. Not for me at least. In fact, I might have brought some sweatpants for myself, in case you wore a pink jumpsuit with teddy bears,” he winked. Jo only stuck out her tongue, which – of course – only made Tom grin. “So, I heard you had mac and cheese down here. Want to join me?”

Jo made her way towards Tom, slowly but surely. He smiled at her and opened his arms so she could walk right into the embrace. “Thank you, Tom. I think I’ve never had someone bringing me chocolate and wine, when I was like this,” she mumbled into his shoulder while she hugged him.

“You’re welcome.” He kissed the top of her head. “Now, come on.”

* * *

Dinner was perfect. It was a simple meal, but it was exactly what Jo craved. Tom was quite perfect as well, Jo had to admit now as she was cuddled up on the downstairs couch, with a fluffy blanket and with the TV turned on. Tom excused himself to go to the bathroom to change. As it turned out he really did bring comfy clothes. Comfy clothes, red wine, dark chocolate, a ‘Singing in the Rain’ DVD, ‘The Jungle Book’ on DVD, Ibuprofen, Hobnobs, and a blanket – the one she was currently snuggling in. He went all out, and Jo almost started crying. Again.

Tom came out of the bathroom, dressed in a green T-Shirt and blue sweatpants now, and sat next to Jo. Really, really close to Jo. He smelled good, fresh and like something she couldn’t quite place, but that was definitely him.

He took the remote and pointed to the TV. “So, Jungle Book first?” he asked, and smiled at her.

With her knees drawn-up to her chest, Jo nodded. “That sounds good. Plus, I already put the DVD in,” she then grinned.

“Great!” He fidgeted and grinned like a little child. “I love this movie. You’ve seen it before, right?”

Jo laughed, she couldn’t help it. “Yes, Tom. I’ve seen The Jungle Book before. Like probably almost every other child in the world.”

“Sorry, I always get a little overexcited watching it,” he chuckled. “Are you feeling better?” he then asked, getting a little more comfortable on the big brown couch, after he put one of the blue pillows behind his head. He held is arm out for Jo to cuddle into his side. “Come here.”

She sighed, and rolled her eyes. “I almost didn’t notice you get excited over anything.” That just earned her an eye roll from Tom, before she scooted closer to him, laying her head on his chest, just below his shoulder, and wrapping her right arm over his stomach. A well-muscled stomach as she could feel, but she already knew that. “My back aches, but it feels a little better,” she murmured.

Tom let his right arm slip from the back of the couch to Jo’s lower back, where he drew small patterns, and used his left one to caress the arm draped over his stomach. She felt good, so close against him, and he could smell her sweet scent. She looked absolutely adorable in her jumpsuit, without any make-up on, and with big glasses. Plus, her little moans of pleasure while he stroked her back did funny things to his insides.

He just had to be a little careful not to get too comfortable with Jo cuddling him, and her body dangerously close to his lower area. He was just a man after all. Yes, Tom admitted to himself, he had hoped the evening would take a different turn, if she would have come over to his house. But now she was hurting, and Tom just wanted her to feel safe and comfortable. Everything else could wait.

They watched the movie in silence for most of the time, with Tom humming along here and there. It was when they got to the probably most famous song of the movie that things got interesting.

“Are you in a better mood already, darling?”

Jo grunted. “Define better?”

“Clearly not,” Tom laughed. “Maybe you should sing along with me.” Without lifting her head, Jo could basically see the smile on his face.

“I don’t sing along.”

“Why ever not?” He sounded so outraged that Jo couldn’t help but laugh. “It’s The Bare Necessities. You HAVE to sing along.”

“I don’t have to do anything,” Jo answered, but smiled. He was so easy to rile up.

“You are so going to sing. Now watch out, it starts.” And so did Tom. He was practically crooning in her ear. “Look for the bare necessities, the simple bare necessities, forget about your worries and your strife. I mean the bare necessities, old Mother Nature's recipes that brings the bare necessities of life…” He stopped when Jo didn’t join in. “Why are you not singing, woman?!”

Jo had to move away from Tom’s tickling hands. “Stop it!” She tried not to laugh, but he made it hard on her. “I don’t know the lyrics, Tom!”

“But…but you said you knew the movie! Don’t lie to me about The Jungle Book! That’s just cruel.”

“Wait, am I the one with PMS, or are you? Don’t be so dramatic! Also, we’re missing the song.”

That was when Tom hit pause on the remote. “No, we won’t. And I’m not dramatic when it’s about this movie. I’m passionate.”

Jo snorted, she actually snorted. “You are dramatic. And cute as well, I have to admit. Look, Tom, I’ve never watched this in English. We’ve only watched it in German. I know those lyrics of course, but –“ She didn’t continue, the glimmer in Tom’s eyes made her stop and realise what she’d just said. “No, Tom. No!”

“Oh, yes.”

“Did you just use your Loki voice on me?”

“Maybe? Did it work?” he grinned.

“Maybe.”

“Come on, Jo,” Tom whined. And then he started the puppy dog eyes. “I want to experience this with you. You’ve only ever taught me the pronunciation of your name and nothing else in German. Sing the song in German. Please?”

“Tom,” she moaned. A sound that went straight to Tom’s crotch, but listening and singing to The Bare Necessities really wasn’t the right time for that. Then Jo sighed and searched for her laptop that – unfortunately for her – was right on the coffee table. “Give me the laptop, I only sing along, I won’t do it on my own.”

The grown man of 35 years actually let out a happy ‘whoop’ and had the song ready in record time. “Done,” he grinned as he clicked play. “Now, there you go.”

With one last glare at Tom, Jo started. Murmuring at first, but with every wriggle Tom did beside her, she became more confident and louder.

Tom rubbed his right arm against Jo’s left one, and wriggled his bottom as much as he could still sitting on the couch. Jo didn’t have the best singing voice, but she was smiling, grinning and having fun for almost the first time that evening. He couldn’t help but stare at her as she belted out the German lyrics, he couldn’t quite understand, but would surely learn with time.

> _Probier's mal mit Gemütlichkeit, mit Ruhe und Gemütlichkeit jagst du den Alltag und die Sorgen weg._  
>  Und wenn du stets gemütlich bist und etwas appetitlich ist, dann nimm es dir egal von welchem Fleck.  
>  Was soll ich woanders, wo's mir nicht gefällt?  
>  Ich gehe nicht fort hier, auch nicht für Geld.  
>  Die Bienen summen in der Luft, erfüllen sie mit Honigduft,  
>  und schaust du unter den Stein, erblickst du Ameisen, die hier gut gedeih'n.  
>  Probier mal zwei, drei, vier.  
>  Denn mit Gemütlichkeit kommt auch das Glück zu dir!  
>  Es kommt zu dir!
> 
> _Probier's mal mit Gemütlichkeit, mit Ruhe und Gemütlichkeit vertreibst du deinen ganzen Sorgenkram._  
>  Und wenn du stets gemütlich bist und etwas appetitlich ist, dann nimm es dir egal woher es kam.  
>  Na und pflückst du gerne Beeren und du piekst dich dabei, dann lass dich belehren: Schmerz geht bald vorbei!  
>  Du musst bescheiden aber nicht gierig im Leben sein, sonst tust du dir weh, du bist verletzt und zahlst nur drauf, darum pflücke gleich mit dem richt'gen Dreh!  
>  Hast du das jetzt kapiert?  
>  Denn mit Gemütlichkeit kommt auch das Glück zu dir!  
>  Es kommt zu dir!

Jo laughed as the song ended, and Tom applauded her. “Stop it. Honestly, it wasn’t that good.”

“I loved it!” he exclaimed. “You know any other lyrics?”

“No! Tom, seriously, I’m not going to sing anymore.”

“You’re adorable, you know that? Sitting here, singing, being all shy and cute.”

Jo blushed. How did he always do that? “Tom, no.”

“I’m serious.” He scooted closer to her on the couch, looked from her eyes to her lips and back to her eyes again, before he leaned in and kissed her. It was the first real kiss of the evening, Tom realised. Why did he wait that long? Judging by Jo’s little sigh and her eagerness to kissing him back, she clearly wanted it, too. Tom’s hand cupped her cheek, just as Jo’s hands moved to rest on Tom’s lower stomach. They both let out a moan of pleasure, getting closer to each other.

Jo felt like a horny teenager making out in her parents’ living room. She came up for air, her mouth still close to Tom’s lips. “We can’t tonight, you know that, right?”

“I know,” her murmured back. “But just enjoy it for a little bit. I’ve missed you.”

“I’ve missed you, too. So much,” she got out, before Tom claimed her mouth once more and didn’t let go for a long time.


	11. Closer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's not just all physical  
> I'm the type who won't get oh so critical  
> So let's make things physical  
> I won't treat you like you're oh so typical  
> All you think of lately is getting underneath me  
> All I dream of lately is how to get you underneath me  
> Here comes the heat before we meet a little bit closer  
> Here comes the spark before the dark, come a little closer
> 
> ‘Closer’ by Tegan and Sara

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am SO sorry for the delay! But look, this has smut to make up for it. My first published smut btw, and probably a little less intense than some other stories you can find on tumblr, but I’ll still go into hiding right after posting this ;) And for everyone who doesn’t like to read smut, I marked that part with an *M*, so you can skip the part. And now, enjoy, I guess.

“This is really, really beautiful, Tom, “ Jo whispered, almost in awe.

It’d been two weeks since he’d visited her in her flat and they’d watched The Jungle Book and later on Singing In The Rain together. They met afterwards as well, but it was mostly for a quick lunch in her break or when she had to go to an interview or event of some sort, and Tom was in the area as well. It had always been very low-key and so far nobody had spotted them. At least none of her colleagues mentioned anything.

But tonight, tonight was entirely different. He said he wanted to take her out on a real date. Not walking around in the park or eating a sandwich in a local cafe. Though, Jo ensured that it was perfectly fine for her. She didn’t need some grand gesture; they were perfectly fine as they were. Especially considering the fact that she didn’t want to start anything serious. And that she had her first paragraph written and an idea of where to go with the story. She didn’t tell him those last two points.

But Tom had started with his puppy dog eyes. A look he had soon learned to convince Jo of almost anything. And they hadn’t even been in bed, yet. Not that she wanted. Well, Jo admitted to herself, she wanted, indeed – just one look at him was enough to turn her into pudding in his hands – but she obviously couldn’t. Except for the fact that she promised Eva to not get into something serious with Tom, her best friend also made her promise not to sleep with him. And Eva was right, it wouldn’t be fair. How the blonde wanted to check on her over the phone, she couldn’t tell Jo, but “she had her ways.“ Jo was a little freaked out after that and uninstalled her webcam.

Anyway, here she was now, in the fancy Duck & Waffle restaurant, overlooking London. They didn’t sit privately, but in a place like this, Jo was pretty sure nobody would spill the beans.

Tom beamed at her. “You like it?“ He looked so handsome tonight. Well, every time she’d seen him actually. He was wearing a white dress shirt, black trousers and a black jacket without a tie. She almost fell over when he picked her up in his Jaguar. Jo had argued that it was pretty silly for Tom to make the twenty minute drive to her flat in Bayswater to then make a 45 minute drive again to the restaurant, instead of just driving there separately, her by Tube, him by car, if he wanted. But he was determined to make it a real date, so he picked her up at home. Jo still thought it was a stupid idea, but couldn’t deny that it was a very sweet gesture.

“I love it, Tom,” she reassured him. “I mean, look at that. It’s an amazing view,“ Jo said, pointing out of the window.

“I know that.“ When she looked at him, Tom was already staring at her, winking when she blushed.

“Smooth, Hiddleston.“ She wouldn’t admit that it actually worked.

“I do have my moments,” he smiled, before digging his fork into the delicious looking Scottish salmon again, moaning a little and closing his eyes. Jo almost combusted right then and there and was shocked to realise she had to press her thighs together. She adverted her eyes to her own plate of grilled chicken and blushed horribly. She hoped Tom didn’t notice.

“You certainly do,” she mumbled, not looking up.

Jo heard an intake of breath and thought Tom would certainly say something, before she saw a movement from the corner of her eyes.

“Uhm, excuse me?”

Jo’s heart stopped. Had Tom been recognised? Was that it? Would she have to break his heart in front of the world to see, because they’d been found out and people would notice when she wasn’t at his side anymore?

“Yes?” she heard Tom answer, tentatively.

Jo finally looked to her left and saw a man in his early thirties maybe, already holding a smartphone in his hand. He looked a little nervous.

“I’m sorry to bother you, Mr Hiddleston. My name’s Daniel, maybe you’ve heard of the charity ‘Tom’s Trust’?” Jo saw Tom nodding as the man continued, “We’d be so happy and gracious, if you could maybe take a picture for that? Just a quick one, forming a ‘T’, helping us raise awareness. It’s totally fine, if you’re not up to it right now, I know you’re on your time off. I just couldn’t let this opportunity go to waste.” He was rambling, like a lot of people did meeting Tom, Jo could imagine.

When Tom said yes, she could swear poor Daniel was about to have a heart attack. He almost looked like Sam, when he found Tom and Jo standing in front of their house not long ago.

They took a quick picture, followed by a lot of hand shaking, and a warm smile for Jo, probably thanking her for letting Daniel interrupt ‘their’ evening.

“Thank you so much for doing this, and letting me post this. And for letting me ask while you two obviously are enjoying a nice meal and time together.”

“You’re very welcome, Daniel. And about dinner… Could you maybe wait posting that picture until tomorrow? We,” Tom pointed to Jo and then back at himself, “would really love to leave this place unseen.” He was smiling, but Jo could tell Tom was getting a little anxious, probably torn between pleasing Daniel and the good cause, and giving Jo and himself more private time.

“No problem at all, I understand,” Daniel winked, before shaking first Tom’s then Jo’s hand once more, and leaving their table, not without a glance back.

Tom smiled at Jo, blushing a little. “Sorry for that.”

“No need to apologise. Do you think, he’ll tell?”

He sobered for a moment, looking hesitantly at Jo. “Would that be bad? I mean, I don’t think he will, he’s all about the charity, not gossip I believe. But I can’t tell. Would it… are you uncomfortable?”

To her own surprise, Jo was honest when she answered, “I don’t think so. I guess, what happens, happens.” Did she really mean this? They were not getting serious. They couldn’t, Jo repeated in her head. Suddenly, this whole evening turned in a totally different direction than she’d expected. The sparkle in Tom’s eyes and his slight chuckle made Jo’s stomach churn. And herself feel guilty.

“Wow, I can’t say that I expected that,” he said and smiled at the brunette. “Can’t say I’m sad about this, either.”

“Tom, we can’t –,” She had to turn this around. Jo had said way too much, way too soon. Oh fuck, it wasn’t even too soon, she shouldn’t have said it at all. Ever. “We’re just –“.

“We’re just dating, I know,” the actor interrupted her. “This still means a lot to me. I know it’s not exactly…easy, this being with me. It doesn’t even matter, if you’re my friend, my date or anything else in between and beyond. If we’re spotted together, you’re in the papers. There was a reason why I wanted the date to be here. I didn’t think anyone would care,” Tom said. He averted his eyes for a moment. “I’ve been in these situations quite a lot. And I’ll continue to be.”

“Well, I’ll just have to make sure to look my best at all times, then. Wouldn’t want to be caught with holes in my trousers.” Tom looked up at hearing the teasing tone in Jo’s voice, and she grinned. “Can’t have my mother calling me, telling me to buy new clothes.”

“You’re just… you’re okay with that?” he asked, almost incredulously.

“Well. If getting to know you and spending time with you comes with that. We don’t have to go to premieres or fan-favourite places, but I’m quite content sitting in restaurants like these.” She wasn’t even lying. And it weren’t just restaurants like these, either, where she was happy with Tom. The grin on his face told Jo he felt the same.

He shook his head a little, and let out a small laugh. “So, we can sit here a little longer, if you want. I definitely want to try that chocolate fondant later on.”

Jo could only nod and agree. The dessert did sound incredible after all.

* * *

They were home at Tom’s place, and the actor had to physically and mentally restrain himself from pouncing at Jo. It’d be a strange thing to do after such a romantic dinner. Right? He had convinced Jo – though, he wasn’t sure how much conviction she really needed – that it was easier to drive to his place. A drive, shorter by twenty minutes after all. And Jo did complain about his stupid idea to pick her up before. Plus, he lived alone and they didn’t have to go on a sofa bed to, well, talk.

Maybe do a little more than talking, because, damn, she looked incredible, and Tom had had to stop himself from touching her – inappropriately, because he couldn’t keep is hands ALL to himself – the whole evening. She was sporting her typical loose bun, light make-up, and she was wearing a black jumpsuit, that hugged her in all the right places and had a low neckline. Plus, she was definitely giving him flirty looks all through dinner and dessert.

Now, they were sitting on his couch in front of the fire place, where they’d be sitting when she was there the last time, before he had to leave, and what continued to be a heated make-out session. But for now, they were talking.

“You know, what I hate about newspapers?” Jo asked, curled up on the couch, her head on Tom’s shoulder one arm slung over his stomach while his hand trailed little lines over her arm. It was a position they found themselves in routinely.

His eyebrows shot up. That was quite a random question. “Well, now I’m curious. What do you, a journalist, hate about newspapers? And do you want to have the list I made about this?”

“You have a list?” she asked, turning her had to grin at him. She stuck her tongue out at him when he rolled his eyes and poked her side. “I hate it when they can’t get names right. Yesterday, I saw an article, and they got a complicated name wrong. I mean, why? We have people, who do research. You just have to check the names, that’s one of the most important parts. If you put someone in the newspaper, you have to at least make sure, they’re written correctly.”

“Wow, you do get heated about this, don’t you?”

“Well, typos can always happen. They happen to me a lot, especially whenever I have to be fast. But you should at least get the names right.”

“I can’t even tell you how many different versions of my last name are out there. I feel like the ‘e’ was in every place imaginable in that name,” Tom chuckled and held her a little tighter. “When you ever write a review about a play I’m in, can you make sure you spell my name right?” he laughed. He felt Jo stiffen. “What is it?”

She didn’t look at him anymore, but on the floor instead. “Tom, I –“

“Oh, I know,” he interrupted. “It’d be a conflict of interest, right? No review from you for me, then.”

“I,” she chuckled, but it didn’t quite sound right. “Yes. No reviews from me for you,” Jo finally said and turned to him. There was something in her eyes, Tom couldn’t place. So, he settled for pouting, which made Jo roll her eyes at him. “You’ll live.”

“But we could totally mix work with pleasure.” His voice went lower in the end. “Though, we can have pleasure without work as well.” He wiggled his eyebrows, making Jo laugh. God, he loved her laugh.

“Don’t ruin the mood, Hiddleston.”

“There was a mood?” Jo just raised an eyebrow. “Oh, I guess there was a mood then,” Tom whispered before leaning closer, his lips grazing hers lightly.

She moaned into him, opening her mouth readily, inviting Tom in. He groaned, pressing himself to her, and cupping her cheek with one hand. The other one went to Jo’s waist, holding her in place, even moving her a little closer.

Jo got on her knees and went to straddle Tom, sighing when his second hand went from her cheek to join her waist, steadying her. Jo’s hands moved to Tom’s pecks, still defined from his gym work for playing Loki.

She moved her hips, connecting her lower area with Tom’s groin. He felt electric shocks moving through his body, making him shiver. They made out like this before, always stopping before things went too far – either because Jo was on her period or they had to get up early the next morning and she had to make the way back to her flat, or because her roommates were somewhere in the flat and could hear them. Bur right now, they were alone, Tom had her all to himself, and she hadn’t made a comment about going home, yet.

He’d waited for this, he got bolt and made his move, lifting his pelvis up and pressing against her. They both couldn’t stifle their moans when they felt the friction. “God, Jo,” Tom sighed. “We,” he swallowed, before continuing, “Are we doing this?” He was panting. Hard. Almost embarrassingly so. He didn’t even wait for Jo’s answer, he just pressed his lips against hers again, his left hand sneaking up her side, cupping the edge of her right breast.

Jo sighed in his mouth, the feel of his hand on her breast almost too much. Her hands found their way to the lower parts of his body as well, trailing down along his stomach until her left hand reached his crotch. Tom’s groan was silenced by her lips and it took Jo a while to realise he asked her a question. Oh fuck, were they going to do this? Exactly this?

Before Jo’s brain registered her own words, they were already out. “Yes, Tom. Yes, we’re doing this.”

It was all Tom needed to hear. Goodness, he’d longed for this, probably since the first time they’d kissed. Maybe even since the first time they’d danced. Or maybe since the first time he’d heard Jo laugh. With a grin on his face, he cupped Jo’s butt, getting up from the couch and lifting Jo at the same time. With a little squeal she wrapped her legs around his waist, as her arms went around Tom’s neck to steady herself.

“I’m going to take you to bed then,” he said, maybe a little too breathless to appear calm. He didn’t care one bit, feeling Jo’s body pressed against him when her lips found the part between his shoulder and neck, licking the spot. His breath hitched and with a little growl he held Jo tighter and began moving towards the stairs and his room.

* * *

***M***

“Tooooooom,” Jo moaned. Loudly. It wasn’t the first time these past ten minutes since they’d arrived in Tom’s bedroom, that she made a most unladylike noise. But she couldn’t help herself. Tom’s hands were everywhere at once, her breasts, her thighs, her sides, occasionally cupping her cheek or lifting her ass. His lips followed those same paths, the only part he hadn’t touched with either his hands or his lips was the part where she desired his touch the most.

He got close to her core a few times, but always stopped short. She didn’t know, if he did it on purpose or not, but at this moment, she didn’t even care. She almost whined when his hands left their path again and instead lightly brushed the insides of her knees. So she pressed her legs that were wound around his hips a little tighter and was delighted when his breath hitched. They were both panting heavily at this point, the only barrier between them Jo’s black panties and Tom’s blue boxer shorts that were tight around his groin.

“Tom, I swear to God –“.

“What, darling,” he murmured, his lips lightly sucking at Jo’s exposed neck, while his hands moved down her legs to her calves.

“Touch. Me.”

He chuckled. “I am touching you I believe.”

“Touch me higher, then.”

“Where?” he whispered.

Instead of giving a verbal answer straight away, Jo bucked her hips, squeezing tighter. “There,” she breathed.

She saw Tom swallow as he finally, finally moved his hands and touched the little bundle of nerves with his index finger, shifting his body on top of Jo to get better access.

Jo sighed, deeply. “Tom.”

“Jo. God, you’re wet, Jo,” her murmured. He began stroking her, Jo’s hips meeting Tom’s hand eagerly. “I need to remove this,” he whispered, tugging at her slip, before ripping it away unceremoniously. “I’ll buy you new ones,” Tom snickered when he heard Jo protesting. She forgot complaining anyway, as soon as his experienced fingers found her again, this time entering her.

“Fuck, Tom.”

“Soon, love.”

“Smartass.”

“If you can still talk during this, I’m definitely doing something wrong.” He’d just said it and soon after Jo felt a second finger joining the first one inside of her.

She let out a long moan, and moved her hips against his hand. She could feel her insides tighten as her hands held on to Tom’s shoulders as he moved above her, his left arm holding on to her hips, trying to keep them in place. There was a layer of sweat starting to cover Jo’s body and she bit her lip as she stifled a moan.

“Don’t try to keep quiet,” Tom whispered in Jo’s ear. He felt her shivering, her nails digging into his shoulder, and heard her swearing. “Let go,” he said.

It was the last bit of encouragement Jo needed. Heat exploded inside her, her body quivered, and her mind went blank for the first time that evening. The only thing Jo registered was Tom’s hot breath in her ear, as he whispered things, she didn’t understand, heat pooling in her core, her hips bucking against Tom’s hands.

As she came down, panting, she felt Tom’s erection pressing against her, reminding her this night wasn’t over, yet. She moved her hands down, still not opening her eyes, and pushed Tom’s pants over his ass and down his legs. Taking his penis in her hand, she squeezed lightly, chuckling as it was Tom’s turn to moan and beg. He was hard, and Jo felt a shiver going through Tom’s body.

With one hand he reached to the side, opening a drawer. Jo supposed he was fetching a condom. They moved against each other, his tip lightly touching her vagina, making both of them sigh in pleasure.

Then it hit her. She was about to sleep with Tom. Something she swore she wouldn’t do. He’d already made her orgasm once, leaving her a quivering mess, but there was no turning back, if they actually slept together.

She had to tell him, didn’t she? “Tom,” she sighed, not really sure what she was about to say. “Tom, I –“. Oh God. Shit, this was the worst moment to tell him. Did it really matter? She opened her eyes when she felt Tom adjusting himself against her, as he’d already put on the protection.

“There you are,” he smiled, his pupils delated, eyes almost black with want.

She had to tell him. “Tom, I can’t. I need –“.

“What do you need? Do you want to stop?” He was panting, looking at her with worry.

Jo wasn’t sure anymore. About anything. “I don’t know,” she whined, but met his hips with a thrust of her own.

“Fuck, Jo. You can’t do that to me then. It’s alright, love, but I need you to stop moving or I won’t be able to stop here.” His voice was thick, more like a low rumble, and he was breathing hard. Tom was propped up on his arms, almost cradling Jo’s head. A layer of sweat was building on his forehead, his hair was rumpled and he looked like he was about to burst. Jo was sure she’d never seen something sexier. “Josefine,” he whispered then, smiling and pushing a strand of hair from her cheek with his index finger.

It was Jo’s undoing. “Do it, please. Fuck me.”

As he entered her, time stood still and moved fast forward at the same time. Jo didn’t know her name, she didn’t know what to feel, except Tom’s manhood inside her, touching all the right places.

They moved together, no awkward fumbling, as if they were meant to do this from the beginning. Jo felt herself getting close to another orgasm again, Tom pulsing inside of her. She felt him shaking, his finger finding her clit again in a desperate attempt to make her come before him.

Her breath caught in her throat at the same time she felt Tom stutter. Her walls clenched around him as they both came with a moan. There were whispered words, none of them really understood, hips grinding, hands touching and tearing, and lips and teeth teasing each other. Their names were on each other’s lips, quiet sighs between the sheets.

As they both stopped shaking, Tom pulled out, and – after ridding himself off the condom and tying it – pulling the blanket over the two of them, lay behind Jo, enveloping her in his arms.

***M***

Jo sighed. They didn’t need to talk, there wasn’t anything to say, really. She just knew she was in trouble, but was way too tired and content to do anything about it. So, she just closed her eyes and wiggled closer to Tom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you want to see the Tom's Trust picture or Jo's look, check out my tumblr titriwrites.tumblr.com


	12. Home Cooked Meal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's a fast food world, running and a-gunning  
> Twenty four seven three sixty five, order it up and get what you like  
> Yeah, it sure is something  
> But here's the deal, nothing's real  
> It's a fast food world, dying for a home-cooked meal
> 
> Home Cooked Meal by Granger Smith

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Merry Christmas?! Honestly, I’ve got no excuse for not updating in like... half a year? Except for moving to another city, starting a new job, life and friends in general... I don’t know how fast these updates will be now, and this one is shorter than the others. But it came to me, and I want you to know that I still think of Tom and Jo. I know where this is going, and I will finish it. For now, enjoy!

Jo didn’t know how to put her emotions and feelings into words. Well, in general she did; she was a journalist after all. But this was different. She’d made a mistake, and she knew it. Okay, maybe she did find a word: shit. She felt like shit.

She didn’t even need Eva’s disapproving tone on the other end of the line to know she acted horribly.

“That was a shit move,” her best friend had told her on the phone the evening after Jo had spent the night at Tom’s. “That was a massively very shitty move.”

Jo had sighed. “I know.”

“Do you, though?” Okay. Jo had already known it hadn’t been the best thing to do, but she didn’t need Eva to tell her the obvious.

“Of course, I know. I didn’t want to sleep with him, it just… it…”

“If you tell me ‘It just happened’ now, I’ll come to London simply to strangle you, Josefine.”

“But it did.” It was true. She’d never planned to do any of this. Sex was not in the game for her. But it felt so very, very good.

“You did want to sleep with him, though.” It had been that voice, that slight disappointment in it that had done it for Jo. She’d felt like shit, miserable, and like the biggest traitor of all.

“I did. But I shouldn’t have done it. I should have gone home.”

“Jo, I hope you know that I’m not judging you.” At Jo’s snort Eva simply continued on. “I’m not judging you for having sex per se. I’m judging you – rightfully so – because you had sex with _him._ You should not have sex with him. It’s bad enough stringing him along as it is. But with feelings involved? I know you, you’re not the woman who simply has sex. You at least have to find them nice. So don’t tell me, there are no feelings. I might have to kill you for that.”

Silence. If Eva had hoped, her rant would be met with more than silence she’d been in for a disappointment right then. Jo hadn’t known how to answer any of that. Eva was right, basically. But it had hurt a little to have it thrown in her face.

“Are you done?” was therefore all that she’d said. “Or is there anything else I already know to come?”

“Jo,” Eva sighed, “you know I love you. I’m watching out for you. This is getting way over your head way too fast. I’m not even sure that you should write that article.”

Jo had hung up then. A few hours later, they’d exchanged texts, telling the other how sorry they’d been, Eva again trying to find out who that mysterious man was. Of course, Jo didn’t tell.

* * *

 

And so, despite Eva’s warnings, Jo found herself in Tom’s flat again, three days later. He’d invited her to a dinner at his place, wanting a cosy night in, before there was the press night for Saint Joan to be gone to. A night where they would actually meet, though Jo wouldn’t tell him that. If he was clever, he could figure it out all by himself – a press night for a play would surely be attended by the culture news reporter of the newspaper.

So, they met at his place.

“I’ve missed you,” he whispered to her, as he greeted Jo by the door, before kissing her softly on the lips.

As much as Jo tried to stay sane, not going into giggly dating mode, Tom’s lips on hers did something to her. In fact, they did many things to her, butterflies in her stomach, increased heart rate, sweaty palms, just to name a few of the things. Oh, they also made her moan.

“It’s only been three days,” Jo answered as they parted a little, the smell of his cologne filling her nose, mixing with the smell of food. There were definitely tomatoes and meat somewhere in there.

“Well, I’ve missed you for three days then. You sure you have to work during the week?” he asked, leaning in, stealing another kiss from her. She let him do it a little too eagerly for her taste.

“I do have to work, yes,” Jo mumbled. “But it’s Friday now. You’ll have me all to yourself now.”

Finally – or not so finally – letting go of her lips, Tom took her hand instead and led her inside. “That sounds promising. We’ll eat first though,” he winked.

She slept him playfully while following him inside. There the smell got stronger, but also ten times more delicious. “What are we having?”

“Besides the wine,” Tom started, pausing just for pouring two glasses for them, “we’ll have spaghetti Bolognese. Made it myself.” Jo raised her brows at the already more than half-empty bottle, and Tom chuckled seeing the look on her face. “Only used it for cooking, darling. I swear. I didn’t want to ruin dinner by getting drunk beforehand.”

“Wise decision,” Jo agreed before sitting down on the bar stool at the counter top. “So, Bolognese?”

“Yeah,” Tom answered and handed her a glass. “I got the recipe from my dad, actually. My mum says it’s the only thing he’s actually able to cook. She’s right. But it worked on her.”

“So, you’re trying to use it on me?”

Tom actually blushed at that. “Um, well.” The smirk was back in the next second. A quite impressive recovery. “Would it work?”

Jo laughed out loud. Despite the fact that she actually didn’t want it to work – really, she didn’t – she was a little curious to see what Tom could do in a kitchen. She knew that he loved to eat, she just didn’t know how good of a cook he could be. “I’ll tell you later, okay?”

* * *

 

By the looks of it, it did work out, Tom thought an hour later when all the plates were in the dishwasher (Jo had insisted on helping, only resulting in both of them trying to push the other one away, followed by a rather heavy make-out session), and they were sitting on his sofa together, each enjoying another glass of wine.

He could get used to that. Not that he wanted to scare her away by telling her that. They were merely dating, having had sex just that one time. It shouldn’t be that intense. But it was. It always was for him, that was his problem. The media frenzy wouldn’t have been that big over the summer, if it wasn’t often all-in for him. But again, he wouldn’t tell her that. At least not before the second bottle of wine, and honestly, Tom had other plans.

“So,” Jo started, and by the tone in her voice Tom wasn’t sure if he really wanted her to talk on. “I’ve been on twitter recently.” Well, he didn’t expect that one.

“Yes?”

“There are quite a few theories about you.” At Tom’s raised eyebrow she continued, looking up from where her head was resting on his shoulder – another thing he could get used to. “About your dating life.”

Tom hoped Jo wouldn’t feel his breath hitching. “I swear I’m not secretly dating Chris Hemsworth,” he tried to joke, but knew that he failed miserably.

“It’s not about Chris actually.”

Tom cringed. Yeah, he had a hunch. “Oh.”

“It’s nothing bad, really. I was just wondering…” Jo fell quiet.

Tom nudged her with his shoulder. She’s looked away again, but if it really wasn’t anything bad, she could still look at him, couldn’t she? “You were wondering?”

“People think it was Taylor with you in that restaurant on Tuesday. And I admit it feels a little strange. You know… being there with you, knowing the truth, knowing,” she blushed, “knowing what we did afterwards. And then having people think you used the service elevator to get in and out unnoticed. They’re kind of watching you like a hawk.”

He was silent for a moment. Huh. He always felt like this would be coming someday. Jo backing out because she realised that the paparazzi were too much. He just didn’t know it’d hurt this much. “You also said that you wouldn’t mind the paps. That… if it meant us being together, you wouldn’t mind having your picture taken.” He tried to hide the hurt in his voice, but even being a Golden Globe nominated actor, Tom wasn’t so sure he succeeded.

And he obviously didn’t, as Jo shot up from his shoulder, turning to face him suddenly. “No, no, Tom. I didn’t mean it like that. I meant… the fans. It’s so strange having people speculate you being with one person, basically carrying her out of your house in a suitcase, when there’s me sitting in your living-room after eating the greatest Bolognese I’ve ever tasted.” She stopped for a moment, then continued softly. “I don’t want this to be more than dating for now. And I don’t want to make any grant gesture or statement, that’s just not what this is at the moment. But I don’t want people to think you’re still with her either. If that makes any sense.”

He looked at her for a long moment, before a grin spread on his face. It was quite scary just how relieved he felt hearing Jo’s words. “I’m afraid I can’t make them think anything without literally snogging you out on the street. And even then there would be a bunch of them believing it’s all PR. Again,” he added. “But I really like hearing you talk like that.”

He cupped both of Jo’s cheeks with his hands, noticing the slight frown on her face. “What’s wrong?” Tom whispered.

“Nothing,” she smiled. “Absolutely nothing.”

The kiss that followed felt different. It was more and at the same time Jo held something back. “I really like you a lot, Jo. And believe me when I say that I’d much rather walk into a restaurant through the front door than taking the fucking service elevator.”

She laughed at that and nodded, her head still between Tom’s hands. He never liked her smile more than then.

Leaning in for a kiss he mumbled, “Will you stay the night?”

Jo nodded. And she did.


	13. Saint Joan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Joan, it's true  
> I only wanna to know you  
> Joan, it's true  
> it's true, I only wanna to know you  
> But Joan  
> I only wanna to know you
> 
> Joan of Arc by Arcade Fire

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I’m not entirely sure how soon the next chapter will be out, so enjoy this one while it lasts :D Honestly, thank you so much for the reblogs and likes and comments on the last one. It meant the world to me that you’re still reading. We slowly get to the emotional and towards the revealing chapters. It’s all (still) fine in this one, though. Have fun!

It’d been busy few days for Jo. And now it was the 19th December and she simply wanted to go home. Not home to her flat but home to Germany to finally celebrate Christmas. Yes, she’d miss her friends, Sam and Nicholas and even Mary. And yes, she’d also miss Tom.

But damn it, she didn’t even have the time to buy Christmas presents for her nephews, well, her whole family really. She just wanted to see them, but her plane was booked for the 24th. That was alright, if you celebrated in London, but was pretty shitty, if you were from Germany, where gifts were actually exchanged on Christmas Eve. Christmas season often was theatre season though, which meant lots and lots of press nights, and lots and lots of articles to cover.

On this particular occasion however, press night for Saint Joan also meant seeing Tom before they both went home to their families. Him earlier than her, but they’d agreed that it would be silly for Tom to stay in London especially for her, when Jo was busy anyway.

She had a surprise for him, though, since Tom didn’t know she would be there that night. Jo couldn’t wait to see the look on Tom’s face when he’d arrive at the after party just to see Jo amongst the journalists covering the play and being invited to the event that followed as well.

He’d done many nice things for her, and Jo somehow felt the need to do something surprising for him as well as they were in this…companionship. Not because they’d spent the night together – again – but because it simply was a nice thing to do. Yeah, right.

Jo looked up from the program she’d been reading while waiting in the foyer of the Donmar theatre before the show. She heard giggling and whispers behind her, clearly also making out Tom’s name among the words.

“I really saw him with his bike just yet,” a blonde woman said to her companion, a middle-aged woman with brown hair. “With a helmet and a safety jacket. And a suit.”

No. No, that couldn’t be, right? Then again, as Jo had learned in the past two months, it was an absolutely Tom-thing to do. Arriving to a press night – with important people from the industry – by bike, wearing a suit, and since it was safer also a helmet and a safety jacket.

Before Jo could start asking questions, she shot a glance outside. And indeed, there he was. Stuffing the aforementioned jacket inside a pannier, putting the helmet away with the bike lock, there stood Tom Hiddleston. His hair was a little dishevelled, while he also wore a coat over his suit – Jo could only see the trousers – and his cheeks were a little rosy due to the cold wind that was blowing outside.

Jo couldn’t help but chuckle at the sight. He could have honestly just take a black cab or even the tube like any normal Londoner did. Hell, he was Tom Hiddleston, he could have just asked for a driver probably. But he didn’t, and Jo liked him even more for that. Unfortunately, her discovery also kind of destroyed her plan of surprising him at the after party.

She just couldn’t wait until the play was over to talk to him. Just for teasing purposes of course. Though, she had to admit, now that Tom took off coat, and Jo could get a look at the blue suit, chequered shirt, and tie, she had to work hard on keeping her composure. It was even worse, now that she’d also seen him naked. More than once. Maybe, just maybe, Jo should also get a glass of water as she walked over to him.

Tom hadn’t seen her yet, at least it didn’t seem so. He got his program and was just studying it, as Jo came to a stop next to him. “Could have simply asked me to share a cab,” she whispered right next to him, the heels and her height making it possible for her to just lean up the tiniest bit to have her lips close to Tom’s ear.

Her, well, friend – probably – jumped startled, and Jo had to hold back an amused, but definitely unattractive, snort.

“Jesus, Jo!” he finally exclaimed as he turned around and looked at her with wide eyes, taking her in and pressing a hand to his heart. “You just scared the shit out of me, you should be happy I’m not on the floor dying from a heart attack.”

Jo raised an amused brow. “You’re a tad dramatic now, Tom.”

“You say that now, but wait until you’ll find me lying on the floor in a few minutes.” He still took her in, and Jo didn’t know if she should squirm or maybe blush or maybe even press her arms to her side to make her boobs look bigger. All options were possible at this point.

They didn’t stand together close enough for a proper greeting, now that Tom had basically jumped away from her, and maybe it was better that way. Due to the occasion, the place was swamped with journalists after all. No need to bring any attention to the two of them.

“Hi, Tom,” Jo whispered, trying to move her mouth as little as possible, glancing around like they were just casually standing next to each other. When her eyes fell on the actor again though, he had a smirk on his lips. “What?”

“You really should not be an actor, Jo,” he whispered back. “You’re doing a shit job at it. Better not try to act around anyone.”

She had to swallow. Really swallow. Oh god, why would he mention something like that? Jo hoped she was doing a better job than Tom gave her credit for. So she plastered a grin on her face that hopefully was convincing enough.

“I’ll stick to writing reviews then. Which is why I’m here actually.”

Tom smiled. “Ah, see, that’s a good reason.” Then he held out his hand. What was he doing? He didn’t honestly think they would hold hands in here, did he? Well, she would certainly not do it, not in a room filled with journalists. She must have looked a bit panicky, because Tom grinned at her and shook his head slightly. “I want you to grab my hand, Jo. Shake it like we’ve just introduced ourselves.”

She raised a brow. She seemed to do that a lot with Tom around. “Now, why would I do that?”

“Because,” Tom started and met her challenging gaze with one of his own, “we look way more suspicious standing just a few feet away from each other without introducing ourselves.”

Well, he did have a point. So, with a grin Jo took the offered hand. “Hi,” she giggled, and she actually wanted the ground to swallow her the next moment. She’d never giggled so stupidly around Tom before. “I’m Jo.”

“Hello, Jo,” Tom answered. “It’s very nice to make your acquaintance. I’m Tom.”

They stood a little closer together now, as they’ve officially met. “So,” Jo started quietly, “you came by bike? Really now, Hiddleston?”

He smirked at that, and Jo possibly, maybe forgot how to breathe for a second. What was wrong with her? That wasn’t normal. That didn’t happen before. Well, not as often at least. She really shouldn’t have had sex with him, right? Right.

“What? It’s a great way of transportation. And it’s only a twenty minute ride.”

“Arriving for a press night by bike,” Jo mumbled, shaking her head. “Oh, what am I going to do with you.”

“Well, I don’t know about right now, but I do know what you could, we could, do later.” His voice was low as Tom leaned closer, whispering those words into her ear, and Jo could feel the goosebumps all over her body already. Damn him.

She shook her head some more. “Tom, stop it.”

Jo could feel his stupid grin without looking at him. “You sure about that?”

She was not.

* * *

“Tom? To-hom?”

“Hm?” He turned to the direction of the voice and smiled sheepishly when the face of Gemma Arterton, who looked at him a little – well, very much – exasperated, appeared in his line of sight.

“You didn’t hear a word I said, did you?”

“I…well.” No, he didn’t. And Tom also knew the reason. In addition to that he was very sure Gemma knew the reason as well. He’d been staring at Jo from across the room during the entire evening. And when he said the entire evening, he meant it. Not just now at the after party, but during the play as well.

Tom assumed it was a great play. From what he heard, it was put together really well, and Gemma – his dear friend Gemma – was doing a terrific job. He just would have to go again on a later date, and probably when Jo wouldn’t attend. Because honestly, while he’d known he should watch that stupid stage his eyes travelled the room in search for his…well, friend he supposed. Or rather, the woman he dated.

And when Tom found her, all thoughts of watching the play flew straight out of the window, and he watched Jo instead. Jo, who listened closely, working her lower lip while taking notes, scribbling them down on her notepad. She should not nibble on her lower lip, Tom had decided when he’d felt his trousers tighten. He could make that observation even in the barely lit room.

He should also not be looking at her now, with her hair in waves, and wearing a white chiffon blouse along with grey trousers and, as she often did, high-heels. She had a glass of champagne in one hand, gesticulating with her other. She looked beautiful. He really wanted to take her home.

The sound of Gemma clearing her throat made Tom jerk his head in the direction of the actress. “Who’s that?” she asked, a certain glimmer in her eyes and a smirk on her lips. She pointed at Jo.

“What? I…no. I mean, I don’t…who?” Wow. Now, that was kind of scary, even for Tom. What the hell was wrong with him? When he’d introduced Jo to Ken and all the others at the Standard Awards, he’d been all calm and collected. But then again, they hadn’t even kissed then. This was the first time Jo could potentially meet one of Tom’s friends, and he felt a strange sense of nervousness creeping up.

“Jesus, Hiddleston. You got it bad, didn’t you? You’re blushing like mad. So, who is she? I hope you do know her.” She made wide eyes. “Or else it really would be creepy as hell.”

Tom rolled his eyes at Gemma. “I do know her. I know her…quite well.”

“’Quite well’ in the biblical sense?” she snickered, and Tom had to stifle a groan.

“Maybe.”

“Ooooh, tell me!”

And so he did. Not everything, of course, but he spoke about how they’d met, how they’d spent time together and how he felt. That there maybe – definitely – was more than dating, for him at least. That he would still have to talk to Jo about that and that he just didn’t know how, yet.

“So, she’s a journalist, huh?” Tom didn’t appreciate the tone in Gemma’s voice but answered anyway.

“That’s honestly all you’ve got from that? Yes, she’s a journalist. She’s here now, isn’t she?”

“I just want you to be careful.”

“Gemma, I know. But you should also know that not all journalists are out for our blood, right?”

“Right.”

With those words they parted, Tom seeking out Jo. He didn’t care much for other people seeing them, it almost felt like he had to reassure himself. When he got nearer, he could smell the scent that always reminded him of her, invading his senses, and he had to make fists in order not to touch her in front of the guys she was talking to.

“Ms Kramer,” he started, when he was next to her. He nodded towards the other men and women, before he looked at Jo and touched her elbow lightly. “Jo. Excuse me, but could I drag you away for a moment?”

She blushed slightly and cleared her throat, but nodded his way. They went towards the bathrooms, before making a sharp turn to one of the floors that were empty at this time of the night and for this event. Before Jo could make a noise, Tom had her pressed against the door and her lips sealed with his. He didn’t know why, but somehow Gemma’s questions made him long to kiss Jo, if only for confirmation that this was real. That he knew her.

His hands roamed along her body, making Jo moan into his mouth while their tongues danced, almost fighting for dominance.

When they finally broke apart, both breathing heavily, Jo looked up at him, her eyes searching his. “What was that for?”

“Haven’t done that today,” Tom said. “Thought I’d get to know you again.”

She looked at him a little strangely, before a smirk appeared on her lips. “Get to know me, huh?”

Tom wiggled his brows. “Yes.”

“Want to get to know me better?”

His brain, his heart, and yes, his groin as well shouted “Damn yes!” at him at the same time. He knew what she meant, though. “Want me to take you home with me? Are there things I don’t know yet?”

He felt like Jo’s playful mood was gone for a split second, before she chuckled at him. “Oh, you’ll find that out when you’ve got me naked, I suppose.”

And with that, it was decided. He’d leave his bike where it was, and definitely take a black cab home tonight.


	14. Last Christmas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Last Christmas  
> I gave you my heart  
> But the very next day  
> You gave it away  
> Last Christmas by Wham!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Well. It's only been what? 8 months? You can thank Finchyxpanic for this, because she pushed me to write. Thank you for that! It's a little shorter, but it's another chapter at least. I hope you enjoy, let me know what you think!

"Josefine? Hey, Josefine? Hörst du zu?" (Are you listening?)

Jo jerked a bit. Well, not a bit to be honest. She‘d been in a kind of dream land all Christmas Day. And most if it was due to Tom. Tom and her family, because ever since the day before, when she‘d arrived in Kiel to spend Christmas with her family, they‘d been telling her how she was behaving “a little different”. But not in a bad way, they’d assured her. She seemed happier, they said.

And then asked her why and somehow Jo couldn't help but blush and the next thing she knew, she was talking about Tom. Not naming him, but talking about a guy.  
And Jo had no idea why.

"Ja, ich höre zu, Mama." (Yes, I’m listening, Mom.)

And with that they passed the salad and the Rouladen and the potatoes and the drinks.  
So, Jo had time to think of Tom some more. Admit the chatter at the table with her parents, her brother, her sister in law and her nephews, Jo thought about the conversations -- via Skype and via text -- with Tom throughout the day.

It was horrible, why couldn't she just stop it? This was getting bad. Too bad and too fast. Though, there probably wasn’t something as too fast. Because this couldn’t go fast or slow at all. But it did. And though Jo didn’t want to admit it, she kind of had to. Admit that slowly she was moving towards a relationship with Tom Hiddleston.

And the only thing that kept her from going further wasn’t because she didn’t want a relationship. She was way past that, though Jo didn’t really know when she’d admitted that to herself. No, the thing that kept her from trying a real relationship with Tom was the fact that she lied to him. That she had been lying and was still continuing to do so.  
And she couldn’t reallt stop now, could she? It was done, she had her story, she just needed to write it down.

Jo almost choked on her piece of meat when the realisation hit, her brother giving her a teasing hit on her back. “Hey, Schwesterchen. Nur weil du jetzt verliebt bist und dir das peinlich ist, heißt das nicht, dass du hier einfach vor dich hin sterben kannst. Wir würden den mysteriösen Typen gerne noch kennenlernen.” (Hey, little sis. Just because you’re in love and embarrassed doesn't mean you can just die on us. We’d still like to meet that mysterious guy.)

“Oh, shut up,” was all that she could grumble.

***

“Tom? Thomas? Hello?”

Tom jerked. “What?”  
He looked into the eyes of Emma and Sarah, trying to hide the fact that he didn’t have any idea of why they were suddenly just the three of them in the living-room.

His sisters stared at him. “Were you even listening to us?” Emma asked. Well, obviously he wasn’t. He could barely keep that sassy comment in. It wasn’t their fault that all Tom’s been thinking for the entire Christmas day has been Jo.

They’ve been communicating on and on since the day before. Wishing each other merry Christmas and talking about presents and families that were great, but a little annoying.

He was missing her. Dearly. That was why he'd asked her to come to the new year's party with him. A friend of him from Eton was going to throw it, and Tom would love to spend the day – and night – with Jo. He’d have to go to the US some days after to attend – he didn’t dream of receiving one as well – the Golden Globes.

And since Tom couldn’t actually come with Jo, he wanted to see her as much as he could before.

But she hadn’t given him an answer yet, and Tom worried. Her albeit very pretty and clever but also very stubborn head was going in the way again. Tom could just feel it.

What he couldn’t feel apparently we’re the daggers his sisters were shooting his way now. He was too occupied with biting his lower lip.

“Tom, seriously. It’s Christmas. Could you stop looking as if we’re attending Santa's funeral?”

He shot Sarah a glare. “So funny.”

“It’s not funny at all actually,” Emma chimed in. “It’s Christmas and you’re scaring the children, if you continue looking like that,” she said, moving her hand up and down, gesturing at Tom.

“You think it’s Jo?” Sarah turned to her sister, obviously either trying to get a rise out of Tom or deliberately ignoring him – both worked.

“Well, we haven’t seen him typing for an awfully long time today. You think she ended it? On Christmas day?”

Tom rolled his eyes and sighed. “Seriously, could you both shut up?”

“Oh, it speaks!” That was Emma. “So, you wanna tell us what has you so grumpy and moody?”

“Nothing. I mean, I’m not.” He was met with four raised brows. “Really.” Really. Worried, maybe. But not moody.

“What has you worried then?” Sarah asked. Honestly, he sometimes just hated his sisters.

He sighed. Okay then. “I may have asked Jo, if she wanted to spend New Year's with me,” he started. “And she hasn’t answered yet.”

“Uuuuh,” the two of them said simultaneously.

“Yeah.”

This felt like he was 14 again. Though, maybe it more felt like he was 20 again. Because when he was 14 he didn’t speak about this with his sisters. The only thing missing was a terribly mixed strong drink while they talked about their terrible love lives.

“Maybe she’s just busy,” Sarah started. “It’s Christmas after all.”

“Well, that didn’t stop her from replying to everything else yesterday and today.” Yes, he was pouting. Yes, he knew that. That didn’t stop him from doing it, though.

A ding on his phone made all of the three siblings jerk and look at the mobile as if it was the devil itself.

“Well,” Emma started as she got up, pulling Sarah along with her. “We leave you to it then.”

But Tom didn’t even hear them anymore, still staring at his phone. With a shaking hand – he wouldn’t admit that to anyone – Tom picked up the phone.

> _I'd love to go with you. Are you sure about that, though? Me? Meeting your friends?_

Well, was he? He nodded to himself. Yep. He was. Ready for her to meet his friends and introduce Jo to people important to him. Because she was as well. Important to him.

> _More than sure. Come with me, please._

 


	15. Friends To Lovers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We could be perfect  
> We could be useless  
> It could be worth finding out  
> We could be wasting time  
> Maybe this feeling I have is a sign  
> "Friends to Lovers" by AlunaGeorge

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry. And Jo is too.

Jo had no idea, if she’d ever been this nervous in her entire life. And that was saying something, because she’d already managed to move to London all on her own. And she also mastered job interviews in another language and actually got her dream job. Well, her dream job as long as she didn’t have to get close to Tom fucking Hiddleston and write an article about him.

Anyways, thinking about this just made her more and more nervous the longer she was standing in front of her mirror, getting ready for dinner with friends and a party afterwards. A party on new year’s eve, not with her friends but with Tom's. God, she wasn’t ready for this.

Especially, as her own friends in London didn’t talk to her at the moment. It wasn’t exactly her fault (it was), but more William's, because he couldn’t keep his mouth shut. Okay. Maybe if Jo hadn't been so scared to tell anyone about her “super secret” project – and yes, she knew she was afraid because she knew it was wrong – Sam would still be talking to her.

It all had happened the day before. A normal day at the office, a regular meeting for the editors, as it happened constantly. But William had an announcement to make since they’d – William and Jo – decided to go for a publishing date in February.

“In addition, we're going to have a great, juicy story to tell some time around mid February,” he'd started. “Our lovely Josefine has been working on an insider piece these past few months.”

Jo had flinched. Not only because he’d butchered her name like that – or maybe she’d just gotten used to Tom saying it – but also because all eyes had suddenly been on her. Sam’s too.

And then William had told all. Who the celebrity was and that Jo had found some nice stories in their conversations.  
Sam had been so furious when he’d finally talked to her at home, he'd immediately picked up Nick and they'd left earlier for New Year's with Nick's family. Unsurprisingly, Eva hadn't liked the developments, either.

“So, you’re going to meet his friends tonight while your team just found out you’re doing a piece about him? Really, now?”

“I know,” Jo had stated, like she'd done so often in the past weeks. “I fucked up.”

“You did.” Then there’d been silence. Jo had known what was about to come. “Will you tell me who it is now?” There. She’d known.  
She'd taken a deep breath and uttered, “It's Tom. Hiddleston.”

Even now, a few hours after, Jo could still hear the screech ringing in her ears. The screech, the heavy breathing and most of all the groan in which Eva'd said her name.

And well, now she was standing in front of the mirror, all alone in the flat and getting ready for Tom to pick her up. It was going to be a fancy dinner. Fancy meaning evening gowns and tuxedos. Tom had ensured her that it wasn’t the usual style when he and his friends were going out, but that they would usually do something special for New Year’s since it was one of the only evenings they managed to all get together these days.

Jo loved it, but damn it all, it was way more intimidating than a quiet night in with maybe a board game or two. But Jo had chosen a dress, one she was wearing right now. It was black and modest, it was long and hugged each of her assets. Her hair was in an updo, the eyes smokey. She looked good, if she could say so herself.

She was doing the absolute wrong thing, wasn’t she? She was leading Tom on, she acted as if it was all a nice twist of faith that led them to stumble into each other. She should just tell him. But it was too late now. What was she supposed to tell him? She couldn’t have it both ways. She either told him she'd lied to him, causing him to walk away. Or she was going to not write the article. And then? What was she going to tell him when she would lose her job?

Yeah. She couldn’t tell him. If she did, this was going to be over. So, Jo was selfish. And no, she didn’t need Nick, Sam or Eva to tell her how wrong this was. She wanted to spend as much time with Tom as she could before this was all over. Casual dates, not too many feelings. It wouldn’t hurt too much then.

Nervously, Jo let her hands wander over her hips where she smoothed out some wrinkles that were probably just in her mind.

The door bell rung, and Jo took a deep breath. She could do this. Probably.

Alright, maybe she couldn’t, Jo thought in the next moment when she'd reached the door and opened it. Tom stood before her, his hands tucked into the pockets of his fancy looking trousers. Trousers that fit his black tuxedo, paired with a waistcoat. He had a stubble, and he was smiling at her, a glint in his eye.

“Wow,” he whispered, seemingly in awe. Then he looked her up and down, and all Jo could do was continue to breathe evenly. “Just wow. You look beautiful, Josefine.” There. That was how her name was supposed to sound uttered by someone’s lips.

“You look kind of great,” she answered. She didn’t even mind that it probably sounded incredibly stupid.

Tom laughed, his whole body moving, the tip of his tongue sticking out between his lips. “Thank you, darling. I doubt anyone will be looking at me tonight, though.”

He came closer, now standing inside the flat. With her shoes on, Jo didn’t have to look up very far to see his face. They smiled at each other, before Tom leaned in to brush his lips over hers. “Ready to go?”

No. “Yes.”

* * *

His friends loved her. Tom could just see it as he stood in the doorway of the living-room in Luke's flat, on his way back from the bathroom.

Jo was perfect this evening. Lovely, smiling and laughing along when his friends – from Eton as well as later stages in his life like Luke, Ben and Eddie with their respective partners – were making fun of him.

She'd cuddled up to him during dinner and dancing and Tom was quite positive Jo made everyone in the room fall in love with her. Simply by being herself.

Yes, Ben and Luke shot her some glances, probably trying to gauge her intentions, wanting to protect Tom. She was a journalist after all, but she’d been so open and honest about her work this night, Tom could see the suspicion melting away.

It helped that she was funny, open and sarcastic, and didn’t hesitate to talk back.  
Currently, Jo was standing – bundled up in her jacket – on the balcony, looking over London. As far as Tom could see, she was alone. Perfect, exactly what Tom needed and wanted. With all the nervousness Tom had felt before and all the questions his friends had been asking, they hadn’t had a quiet moment for themselves. Well, except for the kiss they had shared at midnight just as the other couples had done as well.

A moment for themselves. Yes. Tom needed that for what he wanted to do. He'd waited, wondering, if it would be the right evening to do this. But now he was sure.

He made his way through the crowded living-room, laughing at Luke's attempts at dancing. His publicist may had a little bit too much to drink. Tom on the other hand had paced himself. He wanted to spend the whole night with Jo, not hanging over the toilet bowl in the wee hours of the morning.  
He opened the balcony door softly, trying not to startle his... Jo. They’d hopefully get to that later.

She turned around a bit and smiled at him, and Tom felt the strange sensation of thousands of butterflies in his tummy.

“Hi, Love,” he started, and then he swallowed. Her eyes shone brightly and for a moment Tom even forgot how to breathe, nevertheless to close the door behind him. But he caught himself, closed the door and came up in front of her. “I missed you,” he murmured and then cringed inwardly. That was cheesy.

So cheesy that it made Jo smirk and roll her eyes. “We’ve spent the last seven hours together.”

“But we didn’t really have time to talk.”

Now, Jo's eyes searched his, and Tom could see her taking a seemingly deep breath. “Is there something to talk about?”

Now or never. “There is.”

She swallowed. Oh goodness, was he making her panic? That was not how this was supposed to go. “I...,” she said. “Did I...?”

Tom shook his head. “It's nothing bad.” He hoped. “And it’s more about... Well. I don't know.”

“Tom?” Now, she took one of his hands in her smaller one. And the way she tilted her head a little bit and blinked up at him, suddenly made everything clear, and his nerves disappeared.

Tom squeezed her hand a little and smiled at her. “That was a lie. I do know, actually. I loved to spend the last couple of months with you. And I love how you captivated everyone you’ve met with me. Me included by the way.” It made Jo chuckle softly and Tom couldn’t help but grin as well. “I know we’re dating. And I know it’s supposed to be casual. But... But I want more, Josefine. I want to go on dates with you, I want to sleep with you and I want to wake up with you and call you when I’m away and I want you to be my girlfriend.”

Jo looked up at him, and he licked his lips. And then she slowly shook her head and took a step back. What? What was she doing? He didn’t imagine all of that, did he? “Jo?” he uttered as she took another step back and let go of his hand.

“I can’t,” she whispered.

“What?”

“You’re great, Tom. I love to be with you, be we can’t. I can’t. We can’t be serious.”

“But...” He felt is heart beat frantically in his chest while it simultaneously dropped to his knees.

“I can't be with you exclusively. We agreed on dating. We...” Jo stood before him, shaking her head again and again, not even looking at him.

“Can you tell me why at least? Are you... don't you feel the same? Have I imagined things?”

“You haven’t. I'm so happy with you. I just. I’m not there. Yet. Maybe ever. I’ve got... There are reasons.”

Tom blinked. It wasn’t the first time he had his heart broken. But so far, there was always an explanation. Not enough feelings, but he got the feeling it wasn’t like that this time. And now, Jo started to cry. No. He didn’t want that.

But he also needed to know. “What are the reasons then?”

“I can’t tell you.”

“You want to be with me, but you can’t be with me, because there are reasons. But you can’t tell me the reasons. So, what do you suggest? We just continue and act like there aren’t any reasons why you can’t be with me? We continue to eat out? I continue to eat you out and we continue to fuck? Will those reasons disappear eventually or won’t there ever be a chance?”

Tom breathed heavily. That was not going as planned and he definitely didn’t want Jo to stand in front of him like he'd hit her. Maybe he did with his harsh words. But damn it. That wasn’t an explanation at all.

“I,” Jo sniffled, and this time she did look up at him. “Can we just... I do like to be with you. But I can’t tell you. I’m so sorry. It will work eventually, but I do understand, if you don’t want to wait. I don't want to lose you.”

“Well, I don't even know what I’d be waiting for,” he muttered and gestured at her. “You’re not doing a great job with this, to be honest.” Tom glanced inside. The people were seemingly non the wiser, nobody paid them any attention. He wished he was as drunk as his friends inside the flat. Spending his morning over the toilet bowl suddenly seemed like a much better alternative to this.

“I know,” Jo mumbled. “I’m so sorry.”

“Me, too.” He looked at her. She was still so beautiful, even with tears running down her face. Tom cleared his throat. “I think I need a little time to come to terms with that. I don't want to lose you, either, Jo. But I don’t like you very much right now.”

She cringed and swallowed. “Me neither.”

Tom nodded. More to himself than at her, really. This wasn’t the first time and as it looked like, it wasn’t the last time he had to deal with talks like this. “I'm about to go to Los Angeles. Maybe we’ll just both need a little bit of calm and quiet until then?”

“Maybe.”

And then they stood in front of each other. Both shifting uncomfortably, something they hadn’t experienced with each other before.

Jo was the first to speak up. “Maybe I should go.”

Tom held in harsh words and just nodded. He seemed to be doing that a lot this evening. “I’ll get the driver and take you home then.” Damn him and his chivalrous tendencies.

“No. You should stay. I’ll get a cab.”

“Jo, you won’t get one tonight, it’s...”

“No, Tom. Stay with your friends. Please. Just let me get out of here.”

And before he could do anything about it, Jo brushed past him, went inside and hurried through the living-room. He stayed. Rooted to the spot.

* * *

Tom had been right. It was impossible to get a cab. So, Jo had walked. What a sad image that must had been. Wearing a fancy dress and fancy hair and make-up, mascara running from her lashes and walking alone through the cold. But she didn’t deserve it any other way.

She deserved much worse. She lay on her bed, dress still on. It wasn’t supposed to go like this. She was supposed to let him go gently. He wasn’t supposed to give her that speech.

But maybe it was for the best. If he already hated her now, he couldn’t hate her much more later.

 


End file.
